Fat Bottomed Girls

The fires roared in front of me. I had to raise my hand to protect my face from the suffocating heat bursting from the burning orange mouth of my forge. The stack doors were wide open, belching huge tongues of fire up into the air. I stood a ways back with my fire rod jabbing at the flames, the long prod reaching down into the mouth of that fire to churn the coals at the bottom. I remembered what Brokkr taught me about the fire rod. About not leaving it in too long so it didn’t melt and leave burning metal in the embers, dulling their power.

Turning my hand over to let the metal plate at the top of my forgemaster’s glove touch the underside of the rod, I lifted it out of the fire and walked it back to my cooling trough, dropping the red hot end of it in. The angry sounds of crackling followed. Water popped, fizzled and evaporated upward into the air.

It had been two days since my battle on the blue stone grounds of the Perch and already my wounds had mostly healed. Even Starland was surprised by how quickly I managed to recover. When they brought me to the Medici wing after the fight, I was in a bad way. The twins had all but beaten me senseless, but a day later my cuts had scabbed over, my bruises were less severe. I had done the biggest portion of my healing right after, then it tapered off to leave me sore. Purple in places but for the most part, very much okay.

My ribs still hurt pretty bad though and taking a deep breath sent sharp pains bursting throughout my sternum, but I could push through it. I was eager to get back to the forges by the time the morning came and Starland, though surprised, had cleared me for light work. Sindri, however, was more concerned. Not so much about me as he was about the fight in general.

He insisted that the forgefolk get rid of the evidence of the coming of the Valkyrie twins. He had gotten a team of Medici together to gather the bodies from the perch and cast them down to free fall into the endless sky. He said the wind would catch them in their fall and send them far off the mark. It would be anyone’s guess where they fell from after such a height. They had all the blood scrubbed from the stone and even the very buckets they used to clean were thrown from the edge of the great disk.

The last few days had been interesting, to say the least. Sindri was hard to find, Brokkr was called into long meetings throughout the day with the council and no one was telling me anything.

I could figure it out though.

Two valkyrie elite just disappeared while they were out looking for me. It wouldn’t take a whole lot of brain power to figure out that if I was lost somewhere in this world, I would probably go someplace familiar. It’s one of the first places anyone would look for me and the Valkyrie at Demonhead would come here looking for their missing sisters.

It really was time to go.

I struck at plate metal, holding the burning hot sheet with grips while my left hand hammered away. My eyebrows were tight on my forehead. I tried to stop my lip from trembling, but I couldn’t. I was on the verge of tears with every stroke. I knew eventually I’d have to leave this wonderful place and these wonderful people. I just didn’t want it to be so soon.

Starland and her ever positive smile. Sindri and his wise advice. Brokkr, always managing to make me feel better. I’d never had this kind of support. Never had people like this around me that cared so much about my wellbeing. My heart ached at the thought of leaving.

Ever since my fight, the forgefolk came up to me to congratulate me. More than usual even. They all had words of encouragement, pleasant smiles, and pats on the back. They treated me like a hero. Like they truly believed in me. I couldn’t stand the fact that I had to leave, but I knew I couldn’t stay.

Gozen would be angry. Probably already was. By now the bodies of those valkyrie had struck down somewhere and what remained of them would have been reported.

My days of hiding were over.

The large doors leading into the forge opened and I looked up at them. From as far away as my forge was, I could barely make out the shape of someone coming down them in robes, walking towards Brokkr’s forge. The two had a word with one another and looked in my direction. Looking away, I tried to busy myself with my work. To ignore what I knew was coming.

It wasn’t long before I saw him step around me to stand in front of my anvil. I didn’t want to acknowledge him. I wanted to pretend like he wasn’t there forever so he could never tell me that it was time to leave. My hammer struck harder and harder.

Brokkr waited.

I struck the sheet metal so hard that sparks flew up at my face. I leaned away from them and slammed my hammer down in frustration, letting it and the metal I was working crash to the ground. I looked away from him and put my hands on my hips. I felt my eyes start to burn with sweat and oncoming tears.

“I’ll pack my shit.”

“I’m sorry, Wee Lass.” He said, his voice soft.

I turned away and headed towards the big forge entrance, yanking my forgemaster gloves off my hands. Tears carved clean lines through the smudges on my cheeks as I shoved my way through the doors and headed for the elevator.

Brokkr was right behind me.

That elevator ride up was quiet, save for the trundling of metal grinding against metal and the creaking and clanking of the chain pulling us upward. It punctuated the silence between us.

He had my hammer in his rough hands. I couldn’t look at it. My days as a forgemistress were over. I would never have that future.

“It was to happen eventually.” He said.

I nodded and crossed my arms over my small chest as those ornate doors rolled open. We walked out together towards the stairs, making our way upwards. Myself for the last time. Brokkr was kind enough to let me have my silence all the way up those spiraling stone stairs. He didn’t say a word until we crested the top of them, stepping onto the soot-blackened hardwood there, following the age-old footprints to the forgemaster’s Gusted Hall.

He pushed the stone door open wide and we both walked in. Warm blasts of air burst through the long stone hallway, blasting soot and rock from our clothing and out of our hair. When we reached the end, we both knocked our forgemasters gloves against one another over the opening in the stone wall that led back down into the forges, freeing them of loose soot and dust. The broad set of doors at the end of the wind fountain had several rolling carts by them, each with a name on them. My short cart had my name etched into it. I ran my thumb over the engraving with a fond smile before peeling out of my forgemasters armor for the last time. I stripped down to my sweaty undershirt and long shorts before putting my boots and gear on the cart.

Brokkr did the same beside me, loading everything into his own.

“You realize,” he started.

I hadn’t the heart to look at him.

“Everyone here will miss you, Lass.”

“I’ll miss all of them,” I said back, pushing my cart through those doors and out to the small lift just outside. It was a series of wooden shelves on a chain system, continually moving upward. They were designed to take gear for washing and then return it to the owner’s room.

Only mine would never come back.

“Sindri wants to see you after you get cleaned up.”

Brokkr pushed his own cart into the lift.

“Where is he?”

“You know him,” Brokkr smiled at me.

“Yeah,” I nodded and returned the smile, though mine was only half-hearted at best.

I got up to my room and pushed my door open. I stopped to look down the hall at the bathroom door. My bathroom door. Somehow the thought of going back in time to that day came to me. I frowned at myself for having such a thought. I would honestly rather be a sick, puking junkie just to stay than to have to leave.

“God you’re fucked up, Charlie,” I shook my head, disappointed at myself.

I got cleaned up, took a shower and shaved my body down with the razors Starland had given me. I didn’t have forgemaster gear to get back into so I put on my old jeans that she had mended and my small Medici shirt she let me keep from my first day out of the bathroom. It was for a junior in training, about the only thing that fit me properly. The shirt was stained in places from one medicine or another being spilled on it over the years, but it wasn’t too noticeable.

My frizzy hair I just left atop my head like a big puffball. I didn’t want to bother with my curls. Being both mulatto and poor, bad hair days weren’t that unusual anyway.

I pulled my soft cloth boots on my feet and headed out of my room. I never bothered to wear them much, but they were very comfortable. They kind of reminded me of those soft, cotton boots I’d see prissy, privileged little debutants wearing at the mall.

I remembered that I promised myself I would never own a pair of these things and rolled my eyes at the irony as I headed up to the observatory to find Sindri.

He was sitting on our bench. The one we always sat at when we had a conversation here. I felt my heart flutter in my chest with fear and doubt. I didn’t know what he would say, I didn’t even know if he was mad at me for bringing trouble to his doorstep. All I found myself hoping was that he wasn’t going to be disappointed in me. Sindri was the closest thing I had to a dad these days. I had already let one dad down in every way a person could.

I didn’t want to do it again.

I thought about my Daddy then. I thought about the wreck his daughter had become. About all the days I spent so high I didn’t even know my own name. About getting blackout drunk in the street, stealing, lying and vandalizing anything I felt like. Getting habitually scraped off of the street by police officers that knew me by my first name. Even getting into trouble when I wasn’t even guilty because nobody believed me.

And how could they? I lied about everything.

“It’s not mine, I swear.” I’d say.

“Yeah, right it’s not. You’ve never done drugs a day in your life, right? You swear.” An officer would mock me.

Roughed up. Thrown in the back of another squad car.

Breaking my daddy’s heart over and over again.

All the times I said I swear bounced around in my head at that moment. Every time I said it I was lying. Or about to lie. Or had already lied. So much so that I found myself hating the word. I curled my lip in disgust at myself, shaking my head.

I forced my feet forward. Made myself walk under the light of the sky beaming beautifully overhead. Not a cloud in it. We were well above the cloudline. All of them. All I saw was the light of the sun, the fading shape of the two moons in the sky and the vague outline of that galaxy so far away.

I took a seat right beside him.

“Hey...” I said.

“Morning,” he nodded in greeting, his legs already crossed, his fingers already laced together over his knee.

“Look, I understand if you’re mad at me. I’m sorry. It won’t happen again, I...”

I almost said it.

I almost swore, and a pained expression pulled at my face.

“I’m not mad at you, child,” Sindri replied, his eyes never leaving the blue sky above.

“But you’re gonna kick me out,” I whispered back, hanging my head.

“Kick? No,” he said in that gravelly groan of his tired old voice, almost sing-song.

“Either way, I can’t be here. I figured that much out.”

“No. You cannot.”

“And I know, even if you’re not sayin’ it, you don’t want me around. I’m a burden.”

“Charlie, if you walk away knowing only one thing about my brother and I, it’s that we both count you as a dear, dear friend.” He turned his head to look at me.

I looked back.

“But,” I added the word to his sentence.

“But. Neither of us can afford to be selfish,” he nodded, “they are coming.”

“The Valkyrie?”

“The NEST army. Word has come up from the Midlands. Troops have pulled back from the High Moor, rumblings of conflict. The two bodies we sent through the endless sky have turned up. All eyes point to Valhalla and Valhalla to Demonhead. The Valkyrie have all been called back to the Bright Throne. The search is on.”

“Fuck,” I said, my stomach feeling sick with panic, “how long do I have?”

“As much time as I can give you,” Sindri said, looking back at the sky. “I reached out to Chroma God for assistance in this. The Lightly Perch cannot withstand the coming tide. We must appear neutral.”

“Sindri, I never meant for any of this to happen,” I said, my breath coming faster, “I never meant for anyone to bring trouble here and I can’t stand the thought of anybody hurtin’ the forgefolk.”

“I know, child.”

“What did Chroma God say?”

“He said he’s been looking for you,” Sindri said, his eyebrows lifting. “They all have.”

“They?” I asked.

“Chroma doesn’t act alone. His agents have been searching the skylands for you to no avail. I suppose neither of us thought to ask one another. Chroma is a friend to the forgefolk. Afterall, the travel icon was his brainchild.”

“Travel icon?” I asked, my eyebrows tightening, trying to remember that term.

“After Siobhan’s time in this world,” he said, clearing up my confusion.

He reached into his leisure robes and produced a round, silver sphere. It left his hand and floated in front of me, pulsing a single green light on its surface. In moments it spat out light all around it in tiny points. The points came together to build a three dimensional model of the world and all of it’s floating islands and continents. Then somewhere high atop it, the Lightly Perch.

“Holy shit...” I said, standing up to look at the globe of light in front of me as it became more detailed. The replica of Blue Veil that it created was about the size of a beach ball. I reached out to touch it and the world span.

It was interactive.

“Wow, this is amazing!” I smiled at Sindri through the light globe.

“I thought so too when Chroma first sent its design to us to construct.”

“We make these here!?” I shouted in surprise, louder than I wanted to.

“Oh, yes. The shells at least. They are made in the exhaust heat from the forges at the top of the Perch. From there they go down to the Icy Moor where the inner workings are installed in Meriadne.”

“Oh. I thought we only made, like... springs and cogs and stuff up there.”

“We do. But also these,” he gestured at the sphere and it floated back to his hand. He took it from the air and held it aloft with his thumb and index finger.

“And this one is yours,” Sindri said.

“Really? No foolin’?!” I asked, taking it from him, looking at the round, reflective ball.

“No foolin’,” he repeated, and the words sounded strange coming from his wise voice.

We both laughed.

“Sindri, I don’t deserve this,” I said, holding the tangerine sized sphere in my palms. “I’m bringin’ all kinds of hell down on your head. I’ve been nothin’ but a burden for you guys. I mean, day one all I did was get sick in your bathroom.”

Sindri chuckled, the sound ever so warm.

“The gift is not so special, child.”

“What do you mean? It’s amazing. I don’t even know what it does,” I let it go and it hovered out in front of me, that light blinking rapidly. It scanned my face and I flinched away.

“What is your name, operator?” A robotic voice asked and I looked at Sindri.

He waved his hand with a nod, urging me to continue.

I looked back at the sphere.

“Charlotte Siobhan Ryan. I... go by Charlie though.”

“Hello, Charlie. I am your travel icon. What name would you like to designate for me?”

“I don’t... fuckin’ know, uh. Shiny?” I said, my top lip curling.

“Shiny. Name parameter set.” I laughed, looking at Sindri.

“Is it just a globe? Like, what does it do?”

The sphere chirped, ““The travel icon feature set is designed to provide it’s operator with worldwide interconnected navigation including terrain mapping, road detection, global positioning guidance, voice navigation, HUD mode, communication technology, and optics once the camera option is activated. Furthermore, simple functions like flash illumination and multi-tool integration are also available as well as a host of Ball Shuttle and Ship navigation assistance, docking routines, auto-pilot, syntax.”

“Holy shit. I don’t know what any of that means but it sounds incredible. So what are you like, my own Google or somethin’?”

“If you’re asking if I come equipped with mathematical parameters, yes.”

“No, like... search for stuff,” I said.

“Search engine parameters. Also yes. But you’ll have to put the knowledge in I’m afraid, I only come loaded with the basics. World History, mathematics, economics, syntax. For anything other than that you’ll have to either download new content from the till or give me new information to scan for myself.”

“Till?”

“Yes. The T, I, I, L to be specific. The Travel Icon Interconnected Library.”

“The Appstore.”

“I’m sorry?” The Icon asked.

“Just call it the Appstore,” I said sarcastically.

“Alright. The Appstore. Would you prefer a male, female or binary voice such as the one I’m currently using.”

“Can you... do a voice like the forgefolk?”

“Male or female?” The binary voice from the sphere asked.

“Surprise me?” I smiled at Sindri.

“That I can do, Wee Lass,” the male voice from the sphere intoned.

“That feels like home,” I felt my smile widen.

Sindri nodded, “The travel icon has become the standard in communication and navigation in the world. While most everyone has one, there are a few that do not. I for one do not care for it.”

“I’m sorry ya don’t like us much. Can I submit a complaint for you?” The sphere asked.

“No. No, that’s quite alright.” Sindri said politely, but I could tell he didn’t like being addressed by the sphere.

“How do I shut you up? No offense, but I don’t think my friend is fond of you,” I said.

“Open your hand,” it said.

I lifted my hand and opened it. The sphere moved into it and went silent.

In my vision, I suddenly saw words.

Would you like to integrate your new Travel Icon with your Multi-Tool? Y/N

“Sure?” I said out loud.

Please look at the Y and confirm with a long stare.

I did. The icon disappeared from my hand.

Integration complete. Inventory report:

SLOT 1: Atma Sword

SLOT 2: Wing Propulsion

SLOT 3: Empty

SLOT 4: Empty

SLOT 5: Empty

Report complete.

Would you like to submit or purchase new items into inventory? Y/N

I selected no. I wasn’t really sure what submitting anything meant.

“What do you mean this gift isn’t special, Sindri? This thing is pretty neat.”

Sindri smiled, “As I said, child. Many people have them.”

“This is the best thing anybody’s ever given me. Thank you.”

“Use it well. I suspect you will need it.”

“I feel like this is kind of a stupid question, but... what all does a multi-tool do?” I asked, sitting back down beside him.

“The multi-tool was also Chroma’s invention,” Sindri started and I balked.

“Wow. Chroma sounds like a real stand up guy. What, is he some kinda Steve Jobs or somethin’?”

“Who?”

“He was this inventor guy or some shit. I dunno, made a bunch of shit I can’t afford. People called him a genius or whatever.”

“Oh. From Earth,” Sindri confirmed. “You don’t remember Chroma God much, I take it.”

“Not really. I mean, bits and pieces. It all just kinda feels like memories and dreams. Not exactly clear.”

“I see,” Sindri said, slowly standing up from the bench. “You will have time to meet him again. In any case. The multi-tool is both a weapon and a storage system. Its original creation was for storing objects in Second Space.”

“What’s that?” I asked.

“Second Space is the colloquial term for forcing an object into the 4th dimension.”

“What?” I stared, my expression flat. “Look, Sindri, I’m... I’m not... I didn’t do so hot in school. I got beat up a lot and quit goin’... Mostly just drank and did a bunch of drugs and stuff, so... I’m not that smart.”

I let my eyes wander away from him, embarrassment sinking my shoulders.

“Quite alright, child. If you can imagine a being that lives in two dimensions, he or she is flat, like a piece of paper. They have no up or down, only forward, back, left and right. To them, an object that is above or below doesn’t exist. They cannot interact with it. Using a very small amount of energy, travel icons push items into a spatial dimension that we cannot perceive.”

I nodded, looking up at him.

“So a multi-tool stuffs shit in an invisible closet.”

“Yes.”

“Just say that,” I shrugged. “A multi-tool stuffs shit in an invisible closet.”

Sindri gave me a big sigh and I laughed a little.

“Alright. A multi-tool stuffs,” I leaned in a little, waiting to hear Sindri curse, “objects... into an invisible closet.”

I sighed, defeated. It was his turn to laugh.

“Though, to be more accurate, multi-tools hide objects in a different spatial dimension. Furthermore, most multi-tools come with some form of propulsion system. Since they were originally designed by Chroma, a god, that propulsion system has become flight. The number of wings a multi-tool has denotes a person’s rank usually. One wing would be a celestial of some kind. Lesser or greater. Two is usually the tool of a god of some description. Wings can be used for both defense and offense as well as flight. The multi-tool can also store up to four additional objects of the user’s choosing.”

“Why only four?”

“All technology has its limits. That’s the best we’ve been able to get it to do. To my understanding, the technicians in Meriadne haven’t found a way to allow it to hold an object much bigger than a chest of drawers.”

I nodded and looked away, thinking.

“If I’m a god... how come I only have one wing?” I asked.

“Your multi-tool was designed for a celestial. Not a god. You became one after you acquired it.”

“Oh.”

“It is time, Charlie.” He said, standing up.

My eyes studied his face before retreating.

“Right,” I whispered.

“I’ve asked Chroma to send an escort. They should be here soon to collect you.”

“Sindri, Listen,” I said, my palms rubbing my thighs, “The time I’ve spent here has meant the world to me. Never in my whole life have I had friends and people that accepted me like family. Not even my family. I don’t know how to thank you for everything you’ve done for me. That Star has done for me. And Brokkr, and everyone else here.” I looked up at him again.

“It has been our pleasure, child.”

I jumped from the bench and crashed into him, wrapping my arms around his chest. I felt his hearty laugh against the side of my face as he wrapped his arms around me in return.

“I owe all of you my life.”

“Do us this one favor.”

“Anything.”

“Everyone in both our worlds stands at the precipice of disaster. This world will change and there is nothing that can be done about that. But when the fighting starts... promise me you’ll fight with everything you have.” He rubbed the sides of my shoulders.

I was more resolute than I ever knew I could be. For the first time in my life, I meant it when I said it and it felt good.

“I swear.”

* * *

I spent the better part of the next few hours walking around the Perch talking to as many of the forgefolk as I could. Everyone was so supportive it made me sad to have to say goodbye. I was never much of a hugger, and it was as if the forgefolk could tell because every one of them I spoke to grabbed me up and hugged me goodbye. I must have been hugged a hundred times in the last two hours.

I hadn’t seen Starland yet and I was getting anxious. I needed to see her before I left. I had to. I packed the last of my things in my small bag. A feat that was pretty easy as I didn’t have much. Hoisting it up over a shoulder, I opened my room door for the last time.

Looking back inside of it at my bed, at my window facing the spiral galaxy, I took a deep, steadying breath. It took everything in me not to go spilling water out of my eyes again. I really wanted to stop crying so much. I couldn’t even remember really why I did, or when it started. I wanted to be strong like Siobhan. She endured so much in her life and never once shed a tear that she let anyone see.

She was the version of me that I desperately wanted to be.

I stepped out into the hall and pulled the door closed behind me, hearing it click shut in a scary kind of finality. Walking down that beautiful, hardwood and pearl hall, I came to my bathroom.

My hand hesitated on the door handle before I turned it and peeked inside.

I didn’t push the door open all the way, just far enough to look in on my little corner between the wall and the tub. It felt like I was looking at the shadow of the old me. That stupid little girl that ran to anything that would numb the pain so she didn’t have to feel. To not have to accept what she was.

I thought back to my AA Meetings with Juli. I never wanted to admit I had a problem back then.

I felt like I had to say it out loud.

To own my mistakes.

“My name is Charlotte Siobhan Ryan and I’m 26 years old. I’m a recovering alcoholic and a recovering drug addict. When I was twenty years old, I made a mistake that ruined my whole life. I killed my sister Samantha in a car accident because I was high. My parents hate me. My sisters hate me... I hate me,” I felt myself choke up.

“And I’m so god damn sorry for it I could die. I spent my whole life letting people down and for once I feel like I got a second chance. I don’t really know how to do what I have to do, but I know a lot of people are depending on me. I refuse to let anybody else down.”

I pulled the door closed on the old me.

“Not ever.”

I turned away from the door with a deep sigh of relief. I felt the pressure of my past slide off my shoulders as I stepped down the stairs. And when I got to the bottom...

I smiled.

Looking up, I saw the face of Starland.

“There’s my girl.” She said, her arms outstretched.

I dropped my bag and hugged her tight.

“Thank you,” I said into her shoulder as she rubbed my back.

When we pulled away, both of us were crying.

“Oh, dear. You’ve got me blubbering. I’ve got to look a mess,” she said, wiping her eyes.

“I’m always blubbering,” I replied, smiling through tears.

“You be careful out there, alright? Protect yourself. Keep your wits and fight like you want to win.”

I nodded, “I will, Star. I promise.”

“We’re counting on you, Lass. Grab your things.”

I got my bag and the two of us walked to the front door, laughing through tears as we remembered our time together in the Perch. Brokkr’s jokes, Sindri’s delicious food, we even laughed about the time she caught me sneaking beer.

“I felt so terrible!” I laughed.

“I was trying to keep a stern face, but seeing you drop that mug of beer with that pathetic little puppy dog look on your face. Oh! I wanted to burst into laughter. You looked like you’d spotted Fenris himself!”

We both laughed all the more, “I just sorta dropped it and went back upstairs. I thought you were gonna yell at me!”

When we got outside, half of the Perch was out there waiting for us. I looked around at all those familiar faces. All of them smiling, all of them clapping for me. Out in the near distance was a large spherical ship. It looked like a ball with a portion of its surface made into a window. Inside, I saw a woman sitting at the controls whose features I could barely make out. I was a little disappointed not to see him.

I wanted it to be Stagger.

In the back of my mind, I found myself wondering if he was okay.

Where was he?

I walked through the crowd of my friends, hearing their words of encouragement.

As we made our way through the hugs, pats on the back and people handing me bags of travel snacks which I gladly took, I stopped in front of Sindri and Brokkr.

“Hey.” I waved.

“Hello,” Sindri nodded with a smile. “Are you ready?”

“Almost,” I said, turning back to Starland who was crying again.

“Oh, dear. I’m sorry. I promise, I’ll get it together,” she wiped her eyes.

I set my things down and hugged her again.

“Star... I never thought I’d ever get out of where I was. I felt like I was locked in a dark room.” I squeezed her tighter, “Thank you for openin’ the door.”

She rubbed my back for the last time and we stepped back from one another. I turned to face Brokkr.

“Don’t you go givin’ me the weepy eyes,” he said, hoisting my little hammer up and offering it to me. “Ya left somethin’, Wee Lass.”

I looked down at it with a fond smile. I took it up, feeling its craftsmanship once again.

“Thank you, Brokkr.”

“Aw, c’mere.” He snatched me off my feet with a great big hug and spun me around. “Don’t go forgettin’.” He set me down, “You’re a forgemistress at heart.”

I nodded once and knelt down, packing my hammer into my bag along with all the snacks from the forgefolk.

“I won’t.” I stood to look him in the eyes. “Ever.”

I waved as I walked towards the ball-shaped craft, Sindri at my side, seeing all the smiling and waving faces there to see me off.

When we got to the craft, the door on its side irised open, letting out a set of three stairs in a gust of white exhaust.

“Now it is time for Charlie to show her quality,” Sindri smiled.

“Where I come from we say somethin’ else.”

“Oh? And what is that?” Sindri asked.

“Time to punch in.”

“Punch in what?” Sindri asked and I laughed.

“Nothin’. I’ll see you real soon, alright? I expect rag steaks when I come back.”

“And you will have them.”

“Take care of yourself, yeah?”

“As should you, my dear friend,” Sindri replied.

We hugged each other again and I lingered in the embrace.

“I’m gonna miss you,” I sniffed and pulled away. Grabbing my things, I stepped up onto the stairs.

“And I you,” Sindri offered a slight bow.

I looked back one last time at the forgefolk and stepped inside, the door irising closed behind me. I felt the ship start to lift off as I made my way up the slanted boarding path.

It was a large space, every bit of it smooth and clean. It had two bench seats facing one another in the back and a small bathroom labeled on the far right. There were some storage compartments in the middle of the ship built into the floor. The slanted walkway led up to those seats and left the floor open to walk over the storage compartments to reach the pilot seats. Examining the floor, I could see it was built to move. As if the insides of the Ball Ship could be rearranged depending on necessity.

I stopped to unzip my bag and grab some of the snacks from the forgefolk, taking special care to grab Chanticleer’s cookies. The rest of my things I put away in one of the compartments below the floor.

Heading towards the cockpit of the ship, I finally got a glimpse of the woman operating it.

“Charlie.” She said in greeting.

I couldn’t help but feel like I did that day in Andy’s office.

She was the kind gorgeous that wounded self-confidence. She didn’t have to wear makeup or pretty herself up, she didn’t have to use skincare products or subscribe to beauty magazines. Her lips were a natural shade of peach, her skin pale and blemish free. Long, raven black hair lay perfectly about her head and spilled down her back. It was radiant and caught the light, shining and pristine. The eyes she set on me were almost silver gray and piercing. Her stare felt like she could see all the ugly parts inside of me.

“Hey,” I said back to her, my voice tiny in her presence.

Something about her seemed so powerful. So sure of herself. She swung the ship around hard and I stumbled to my right.

“You’ll want to buckle up,” she said, her eyes still on me while she operated the controls.

I righted myself and looked at her, frowning. Her silvery eyes looked me up and down, burrowing into me like a hawk’s claws. I saw her eyebrows tip down just a tick. Not far, but enough to know what I saw.

“Right,” I said, heading over to the seat beside her, dropping down into it.

I knew when someone disapproved of me. I could tell a judgemental glare when I saw one.

“Great.”

“Excuse me?” She asked, her tone light.

“Nothin’.” I shot back, buckling myself into the seat. I leaned back a bit and lifted my feet to set them on the empty dash in front of me.

“Could you take your feet off my console? Thanks.” She said, without waiting for me to comply.

I frowned and took my feet down, sitting up again.

“Good girl,” she practically purred with superiority.

I almost threw my snacks at her. Instead, I stuffed my hand into the bag and pulled out one of Chanticleer’s cookies. Looking at it with delight, I smiled.

He always made the best sugar cookies. Just a touch of cinnamon, not too heavy on the sugar. And he knew I loved pecans so he put one at the center of every cookie. Biting down into the moist, cakey cookie I gave an audible moan of pleasure.

The woman beside me glared at the side of my face and I looked over at her, crumbs around my mouth.

“Sorry,” I said, my eyes retreating from hers.

I couldn’t look at those silver orbs. Her stare practically hurt.

“Like eating cookies?” She asked, and the question sounded loaded.

“Yeah. So?” I curled my lip up, refusing to look at her.

“I can tell. I guess it’s lucky for you all your weight is going to that fat ass.” She said, as if it were perfectly normal.

“Excuse me!? First of all, I don’t know why people keep telling me my ass is fat. It’s not even that big, it just looks big cus I’m small! Fuck you very much you stup-” She swung the ship down hard again, blasting us over the side of the Perch and heading downward. The inertia slung me back in my seat. “NNGH!”

“Sorry. Did that offend you?” She asked, looking over at me with a wicked grin as she placed sunglasses over those silver eyes.

I looked forward through the window as we went hurtling towards the first of what I knew would be several cloud lines. The ship gave a beeping complaint about our sudden descent.

“What th-..” I looked out wide-eyed through the forward window as clouds rushed past us. The speed was incredible. I could feel my stomach turning a flip. “Are you crazy!? You’re gonna kill us!”

Just then she jerked the controls up hard, making me lurch forward in my seat. My seatbelt flew apart and I crashed into the console. I slammed into the hard surface in front of me, the impact chucking me into a groaning ball between the dashboard and the floor.

“That’s not how the seatbelt works.” She said.

Leveling us out, she finally slowed the ship down as we made it through the first cloudline. I crawled out from under the console and got back to my seat.

“Look,” I tried not to shout, “I don’t know what the fuck your problem is. Whatever you heard about me, listen. I don’t want to fight, alright? I know I don’t got the best reputation.”

I turned around to sit in the seat, fiddling with the seatbelt.

“Charlie, I don’t know anything about you.” She said as we skirted our way towards the Silver Ribbon.

I decided to just stay quiet.

Clearly, she had a problem with me and I refused to feed into it. It stood to reason that a lot of people might not be the happiest with me. Especially if they heard even the smallest bit of information about how I chose to live my life. While most people had only heard about Siobhan, people in Chroma’s circle or who ran with NEST probably knew all about me. Even if they, like this woman, said they didn’t.

Siobhan was a hero. I was just a junkie.

Up close the Silver Ribbon was much bigger than I thought.

That fat band of water in the sky took us over half an hour to get beyond. The entire time I was staring at it, watching light dance through the shimmering surface. I could see the distorted image of massive turtles, huge fish, and schools of thousands of sea creatures swimming in unison. Our speed made me realize the gravity of how massive this ocean in the sky really was.

It was unsettling seeing a vertical horizon as we descended with that large body of water on our right.

Turning to look back at the woman at the controls, I tried my luck again at conversation.

“So what’s your name?” I asked, reaching for my little bag of cookies from Chanticleer.

She looked over at me. I could feel her eyes looking me up and down through her sunglasses. I held the bag out to her, offering one.

“Bijou.” She ignored the bag.

I shrugged and put it back in my lap.

“Just Bijou?”

“Bijou Queen.” She replied.

“Oh, cool. Like th-,”

“Yeah. Like that.”

I looked over and caught her staring at me again. My eyes retreated and I looked back forward, letting her glare. God, I wanted to go back to the Perch.

“So are you just gonna be a bitch to me the whole time or can we skip past the bad vibe and get to the part where we talk like normal people?”

“Oh, we’ll talk.”

She tapped her foot on one of the controls under her console, the Ball Ship bursting forward all the faster as we headed downward at an angle through the endless sky.

I knew what that tone of voice meant and it sent a thrill of fear into my stomach. Every time I heard someone use it I ended up either running, getting bullied or getting my ass beat.

I looked over at her gloved hands.

They didn’t seem at all like a fighter’s hands. They were delicate. Her arms were smooth and ladylike. Everything about her said she was more the marrying kind for some rich guy instead of a fighter. She was wearing a pair of khaki fatigues with pockets up and down the legs, and a black, form-fitting shirt with long sleeves made of a stretchy material that looked more tactical than comfortable.

And her tits were bigger than mine.

I crossed my arms self-consciously over my small A-cups and sat back in my seat hating her stupid, beautiful face.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked and she didn’t answer.

“Look, it’s about a ten hour trip to Old Settler’s Place and I’d be a lot more comfortable if I didn’t have to hear your voice. If it’s alright by you, I’m just gonna put on my headphones and listen out for the next checkpoint. Okay, Pumpkin?” She gave me a fake smile.

I glanced over at her and returned it before glaring at my bag of cookies.

Everywhere I went someone was trying to kick my ankles out from under me or push me around. Looks like that trend would continue even in Blue Veil.

I missed the perch even more.

* * *

I didn’t think she would actually ignore me for that long but she did. I tried asking her a question or two now and then, but she pretended not to hear me under her headphones. I plucked up the courage to actually throw a caramel treat at her a few hours back. She just smiled and ignored it. Her casual dismissal only pissed me off more.

“Whatever,” I whispered.

I knew she heard me. I reasoned I should probably stop poking at her though. As delicate as she looked, this place was full of people who could do extraordinary things. The last thing I needed was to end up living near somebody who would and could kick my face in at a moment’s notice.

Watching this strange world go by was both interesting and frightening. It felt like going to a different planet in one of those late night science fiction movies. We take for granted waking up under the same sky every day. Imagine that goes away and it’s replaced by a skybox that shouldn’t even be physically possible.

The magic of this place was hypnotic though. I watched land masses whip by us. I saw floating continents that it took hours to get around. I saw towns buzzing with life at the edge of some large peninsula with vehicles whizzing by, tiny and far away. Now and again slivers of sunlight would come cutting through the cloudlines, finding their way through the floating islands and spill golden light on things. I would see reflected light from the water above paint wobbling, silvery light over rock faces or illuminate the clouds.

It was both beautiful and unnerving.

By the time we made it to our destination, I had fallen asleep.

I had a terrible dream.

It started off good, though.

In it, I woke up back on earth, back in my lonely little apartment. I was sitting on that dresser while Stagger tended to my wounds.

We didn’t just talk. He pressed his lips to mine. I breathed in his scent while we kissed, hungry for more. Our lips touching felt so real. The erotic smack of our mouthes and tongues feuding for dominance, mine eventually submitting while our heads moved this way and that. We pawed at each other, pulling and yanking at clothing, desperate and eager.

And then I didn’t have a thing.

He was gone.

Everyone was gone.

No friends, no one to call. I picked up my old broken cell phone and tried to call Maxine but she didn’t answer. I called Robin for whatever stupid reason and paid the price for it. She called me names and yelled at me, telling me I shouldn’t have called. When I hung up with her, I fell onto my bed and tried to crawl into it but my blanket had come to life. It wrapped me up, squeezing me like a boa constrictor. I screamed but couldn’t get free. It snaked its way up my body and eventually covered my face. I clawed at it frantically to try and get it off but it wouldn’t move. I couldn’t breathe. Gasping, I crawled to the edge of my bed and ended up falling out of it, waking myself up.

I woke up in my seat on Bijou’s ball ship, my head leaning back far enough to make my neck ache. I still couldn’t breathe. As my vision returned, I was looking up into those silvery gray eyes staring down at me. She had a playful smile on her face, her sunglasses above her forehead resting in her hair. One of her hands was over my mouth and nose.

“We’re here,” she said.

I frantically yanked my face out from under her hand, gasping for air.

“What the ...” I started to yell at her, but something about the way she stared at me shut me up. I wasn’t sure if I was afraid or just thought better of it. Maybe somewhere in between.

I sat up and looked outside the window. Even down this far traces of sunlight managed to make it through the multiple canopies of cloud cover. Every now and then when the vast openings in the cloudlines lined up and the moving continents above allowed, bands of yellow blasted down upon the ground, casting evening light all about.

We had set down on a circular landing pad at the heart of what looked like a small city. I could see a range of mountains very nearby in the distance above the tops of the buildings that set jammed together like a postcard from Madrid. Only the architecture didn’t look so old. It actually looked like where my family was originally from in New York, mixed with a kind of futuristic perfection I couldn’t quite sniff out. Like a facelift on a classic.

We had moved away when I was around 16 and mom and dad went all out trying to turn us into suburbanites. Dad couldn’t help his southern drawl. He was from Uvalde, Texas, and no matter where we ended up, he’d be a West Texas boy no matter what.

Mom dropped her Estorian accent as soon as she got around upper-middle-class white people, desperate to grasp the golden ring. Robin kept a little bit of her’s but after all those press junkets she ended up going straight up, privileged white girl. Andy wouldn’t be caught dead letting anyone know we grew up in Brooklyn, and Max never really had an accent at all.

Sammy was the funniest. She sounded like she was from Baltimore somehow. None of us could quite figure that one out.

All I could guess was that it ended up happening from the mix of accents in our family blending into its own thing when she learned to talk.

Me though, I hung out with all the wrong people in all the wrong places. I lived in the streets. I ate it and spat it back out until the way I walked, talked and even dressed was made of New York pavement. I nearly lost my shit when I found out we were moving to the Midwest to be closer to the college circuit. Dad was a history professor. She said it was so my dad could have a better time finding a job. Really, I knew it was to try and keep me out of trouble and off drugs.

I was a career fuckup though. Nothing could change that.

Old Settler’s Place was a kind of modern beautiful. Everything seemed uniform and chaotic all at the same time as I leaned forward to see more of it. I stood up from my seat and leaned over the console to see far out to the left and right of our ship. I could see we were one of many circular landing pads that other ball ships and shuttles were setting down on.

“Holy shit... how many people live here?”

“C’mon,” Was all Bijou said back and I twisted my lip in irritation.

Turning around to glare at her, she was still standing there staring at the back of my head.

She just smiled that smug smile at me and walked towards the ship’s door. Huffing an indignant breath I turned and headed that way myself, stopping to grab my things out of her storage compartment. Tossing my bag strap over my shoulder, I made my way to the door and stepped down those three steps into the outside air.

My skin was assaulted by the cold in an instant.

It burned into my flesh, cutting right through my thin shirt and jeans, chilling me to my core. My mouth fell open and I grabbed my arms, rubbing myself furiously as I set out in a jog after Bijou.

“H- holy fuck! It’s fuckin’ freezing! It doesn’t even look that cold out here!” I said. My eyes were watering from the wind hitting me in the face.

“Oh, hey, you should grab a jacket. It’s cold,” she said sarcastically, zipping up her bomber jacket as she strutted onward.

“Really!?” I called after her, my nipples stabbing at my shirt like they were mad at it.

I hadn’t even thought to put on a bra, I figured it’d just be a short jaunt down to see Chroma and then off somewhere else. I didn’t know what to expect.

“Yep. The closer you get to the Hellmouth the colder it gets. Blue Veil geography 101. Welcome to it.” Bijou said, pushing her hands into her thermal gloves. “It doesn’t warm up around here for another two or three months when the sunlight’s coming from natural east.”

“What’s natural east mean? They got an unnatural one or somethin’?” I asked, following her as we made our way down the street.

It bothered me that my memories were so scattered. Whatever Siobhan did with the information in my head managed to scramble the rest of my memory up so bad I could barely tell dreams from reality. It was a constant process of remembering things, questioning what I was remembering and then forgetting it by accident moments later.

Old Settler’s Place wasn’t the biggest place I had ever been. The tight buildings and streets running to and fro seemed to exist inside of a gigantic bowl. The mountains I noticed, now that I was out of the ship, were all around the city. Like it was inside of an old impact crater.

“Since the planet is broken into pieces and those pieces orbit the Hellmouth, north, south, east and west don’t really make much sense anymore. So each continent has its own compass of directions based upon landmarks. Then there’s the elevation scale. Then comes the true magnetic directions. So if a person is natural east by west at elevation level five, it means they’re at the magnetic east of Blue Veil, on the west side of their continent which sits at the fifth level of elevation. Make sense?” She said, throwing her shimmering silver eyes on me like she was gracing me with their presence.

No, it didn’t make sense. And her smug attitude was starting to annoy me.

“No, it doesn’t.” I shook my head, trying to keep up.

“That’s because you’re an airhead,” she said with a laugh.

“Hey!” I yelled and she stopped to look at me. “I’m really trying to be nice here, alright? I know I’m not that smart but you ain’t gotta be such a bitch.”

She glared at me. Her eyes hurt to look at almost as much as Andy’s did. I inevitably lost the staring match.

I always did.

Bijou turned and continued on.

“Where are we going?”

She turned a corner into a narrow alley between what looked like a tailor and an electronics shop. The walls were so close that I started feeling a little claustrophobic. Then my steps slowed down, putting some distance between her and I. My natural instinct to run started to tickle at the back of my neck.

Was she leading me somewhere to have our talk?

“You’ll see,” she said. “Not much further now.”

Between the threat of pain and the chill in the air, I pressed on as well, figuring getting beat up on the way to warmth was a lot better than running away to avoid pain and freezing to death in a place I had never been before.

The little city was quiet. And for the temperature outside, I could see why few people were walking about. Most everyone was in long coats and scarves. It was only then that it occurred to me that my multi-tool was still an earring, and as I thought about that it became a warm, white scarf again. I felt it bundle around my neck, wrapping itself twice to cover my chin, nose, and mouth. I stuffed my hands in my pockets to try to keep them from hurting as cold stung them to the bone.

There weren’t any cars out on the roads. I could see a few ball shuttles pass by up ahead, but for the most part, it seemed most people walked in this town.

“Do people have cars here? Like on earth?” I asked Bijou through chattering teeth.

“Hm? Oh, yeah. I mean, not here. You see them in the capital city and higher elevations. Ball Shuttles are more prevalent down here because they’re manufactured in the Icy Moor. It’s closer.”

We came out of the other side of the alley into a wide open street that had a gated park across from us. Even from here I could see the large statue at the heart of it that was in full color. It was of a woman standing at the park’s center, one hand on her Atma Sword, the other holding what looked like Blue Veil in her palm, spinning peacefully, a single tawny wing extended out behind her. Her face was exactly like mine save for the burning, determined green eyes blazing with courage.

And she was wearing Siobhan’s armor.

“Oh no...” I said, hearing Bijou’s chuckle as she led us right into that park.

It seemed it didn’t matter where I went, I would constantly be crushed by Siobhan’s immense shadow.

“What, you don’t like it?”

“How could I?” I asked.

“I dunno. How could you?” She asked in return.

Following her right up to the statue which turned out not to be a statue at all, I realized it was a convincing hologram that looked solid.

“How would you feel if you had a big sister that was better than you at absolutely everything? One that everyone liked a lot more than they like you, and they all expect you to be just like her.”

“Boo-hoo. My heart bleeds for you,” she said.

I opened my mouth to say something back but I didn’t bother. I just looked away from her and threw my hands up at my sides, letting them slap back down against my thighs in exasperation.

“Look, whatever. Why are we here? This supposed to be your way of takin’ more shots at me?”

“It’s not always about you.” She smiled her pretty smile.

I rolled my eyes again as she stepped towards the plaque with Siobhan Aoibheann’s name on it. Splashing in front of us was an image of the planet. One similar to what a travel icon would make. She tapped her way through it, zooming in down to our very location, then she tapped another few commands in the air on a smaller window that opened beside the map.

“Where’s your travel icon?” I asked, looking around for another floating sphere.

“There we go,” she said as the holographic image of Siobhan cut an opening at the base.

The statue’s platform seemed to break inward on that cut, building a narrow staircase.

“After you.” She said.

I made my way up the staircase, right into the holographic leg of Siobhan where a port sat on the ground. Bijou came up after me, walked over to the port and knelt down, setting her palm against it. It started to iris open, exposing a ladder beneath which she climbed down with ease.

“Let’s go,” She said and I nervously climbed into the port behind her.

“Look. An eclipse.” She said from beneath me.

She was talking about my ass.

“Oh, shut the fuck up.”

“Make me,” She said as I stepped down into the dark corridor and turned around only to nearly walk right into her.

I stepped back and glanced up at her, our eyes meeting briefly in the dark before mine retreated and I stepped around.

“I don’t wanna fight.”

“You’re gonna have to eventually, aren’t you? Least that’s what everyone keeps telling me.”

“Yeah. Seems that way,” I said back, walking into the darkness.

She waited until I fell forward.

“Wait, there’s a ledge.”

I tumbled forward screaming.

What was once a dark corridor around us suddenly burst into light, as if there was a wall of darkness in front of me that abruptly ended. I fell only a foot to the floor, but at that moment I thought I was falling to my death.

She hopped down right beside me and tittered a laugh.

I got up fuming, marching along behind her towards a set of brilliant white doors that looked like a presidential office.

“Jesus Christ, get off my lady nuts. Fuckin’ sick of these big bitches givin’ me shit. Stupid shampoo commercial lookin’, calorie countin’, soccer mom. Bet you drive an oversized SUV and don’t know how your blinkers work,” I muttered under my breath.

“Say something?” She asked, a playful smile on her face.

She looked like she wanted to laugh.

“Huh? Nope. Nothin’,” I said, looking around the small antechamber, cowardice sending fear tumbling down my throat into my stomach like a bucket of ice.

“You sure?”

“I’m sure,” I said, refusing to look at her.

“Positive?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Absolutely nothing?”

“Yup,” I made the last letter in the word pop.

“Alright,” She said and swung those presidential doors open.

Inside was a small living space about the size of an apartment back home. A roaring fire was blazing in the hearth and a big marble table sat in the middle of the room with comfortable looking chairs all around it. Two armchairs sat facing each other by the fire. Photographs on the wall depicted an aerial photo of the crater, apparently called Howl Valley back then, as the city developed over time inside of it.

Standing by the fire with his back to us was a familiar silhouette I hadn’t seen in months. One that I would have recognized anywhere.

“Stag!” I said, almost out of breath.

He turned around, smiling that youthful smile. I started to run around the table to him, to tackle him with a hug.

Bijou rounded the table first, tossing her voluminous hair over her shoulder as she sashayed over to Stagger and snaked her arms around the back of his neck.

“Stagger Lee. You’re back already?” she said, her tone flirtatious as she leaned in and pecked his cheek.

Stagger gave her a fond chuckle, wrapping his arms around her middle.

“Yeah, I ended up having to cut it short. NEST is throwing a fit back on earth. Seems somebody’s got ’em all pissed off. Isn’t that right, Charlie?” He turned those hazel weapons he called eyes onto me.

My mouth was open in shock. Betrayal was burning in my eyes, heating my cheeks. My face was twisted in an expression I couldn’t hide.

“Whoa, you okay?” Stag asked, his embrace with Bijou sliding apart as he walked over to me.

“Yeah, I’m fine. What the fuck is this?” I asked, lifting my hands to gesture at the two of them.

“Is what? What are you-” He tried to ask but I cut him off.

“Nothin’. Nothin’, it’s none of my business, right? I get it.”

I glared into the smug smile on Bijou’s face as she cut into me with her silver eyes. I couldn’t tell what her hungry stare was enjoying most, the look on my face or the fact that she had put it there.

“She’s had a long day, Stag,” Bijou said, taking a seat at the table. “I’m so glad you’re back, though,” she bit her bottom lip and threw her silvery eyes on me.

I wanted to slap her away from the table.

“How’ve you been?” Stagger asked.

I tore my hateful stare off of Bijou’s face long enough to look up at him. My eyes didn’t meet him. I stared him in his lying, two-timing mouth and wanted to punch him in it.

“Fine,” I said, taking a seat at the foot of the table, farthest away from both of them.

“Charlie,” he looked at me incredulously, “I don’t understand wh-..”

The doors opened again and through them came a man whose face suddenly connected dots in my memory.

Chroma God.

My earliest memories of him had his keen eyes bouncing light back at me like a cat’s eyes in the dark. And at will, those same eyes could pour pure white light from their sockets and see through the fabric of reality. Now, however, he wore dark sunglasses that completely hid his eyes from view.

Because he didn’t have eyes.

Orcus had them now.

He had a brown suit draped over his frame with a dark purple shirt underneath it. A white tie was at his collar not unlike the one Stagger always wore. He was surprisingly young looking, too. I expected him to be much older but he looked like he was in his mid-fifties. Despite his age, his hair was still a rich chestnut brown, his lean, solid frame moving with the grace of a god.

He moved through the room with practiced ease, right to the top of the table and took a seat.

“Charlie,” he said to me, his voice colored with what sounded like a British accent.

“Chroma God,” I replied, surprise in my tone. I hadn’t expected to see him so soon. Or here.

I shot Stagger another hateful look and he frowned at me, confused.

My eyes dropped to the table. I knew it was all over my face. I felt so stupid.

What could I expect? I pushed him away. Not that it would have been any different if I hadn’t. A guy like Stagger didn’t want me. He wanted Siobhan. Or someone else equally perfect.

I glared daggers at pretty, perfect, gorgeous, silver-eyed, big titty Bijou.

“I can tell from your relative silence that you’ve had an interesting day. I suppose you can already gather that we have quite a lot to talk about.” Chroma said, misinterpreting the hate I had bristling at the back of my neck.

I nodded without a word, staring holes in the table.

“Right. Perhaps we should table this conversation until tomorrow. I’m sure everyone here could do with a little rest. Most of all you, Charlie.” Chroma said, somehow picking up on my every gesture without his sight.

I looked up at him.

“This was all kinda short notice, I think I just need to clear my head,” I said.

“Short notice indeed. We didn’t have time to find you adequate arrangements. You can stay here for the night. There’s a small room I sometimes use to get a bit of shuteye when I’m working long into the night. I’d let you stay at my home on the North Landing, but I’m sure you probably don’t want the attention you’ll get down that way. It’s a highly populated area and as I’m sure you’ve seen from the statue above, Old Settler’s Place is rather fond of you.” Chroma said.

“Of Siobhan,” I muttered, my lip curling, glaring at the side of Stagger’s face. I could tell he was trying not to look me in the eyes.

“Of... Siobhan,” Chroma looked at me and I could tell he was reading my tone.

“She can stay with me,” Bijou piped up.

I stared at her, wishing my eyes could shoot lasers.

“No, I most certainly can’t.”

“Oh, come on. We could do with a little girl-chat,” She smiled that pretty smile again and I just wanted to leap across the table and start punching her stupid, pretty face into the floor.

I felt like such a petty little girl.

Stagger wasn’t mine. Stagger would never be mine. But all I could think about was those intimate moments we spent in my little apartment. The days he took care of me. I wanted those days back.

“Alright, if it’s alright by you, Bijou. The office isn’t exactly the most comfortable of accommodations,” Chroma said.

I didn’t want to be anywhere near her. I didn’t want to see her face. But I knew she wanted to get me alone and kick me around. She wanted to dig the knife in. I bet Stagger made me sound like a real pathetic case on those late nights, curled up in this silver eyed she-devil’s bed.

Making fun of the poor, destitute junkie whose family couldn’t fucking stand her.

Right before he fucked her silver eyed brains out. Imagining them in bed made my hands ball into fists. Jealousy dug at me and I hated myself for it.

I’d show her.

She probably thought I was the same weakling that crawled and cried in the dirt back on earth. I summoned the sweetest smile I could.

“Thanks so much, Bijou. Long as it’s not goin’ outta your way.”

Stagger’s expression darkened, reading my fake tone.

“Not at all, Charlie,” She said back, smiling that pretty smile that I couldn’t wait to smash my fist into.

“Maybe you should rethink sleeping here, Charlie?” Stagger said.

“Nah. I’m good Stag,” I replied, my eyes never leaving Bijou.

“I don’t think you are.” He said, leaning forward in his seat.

“Oh. Trust me... I’m a-okay. Bucko.” I added, throwing my coffee brown, mischief rich eyes at him.

“I’ll go on ahead and make you a place to crash,” Bijou said, wetting her lips, that playful smile of hers never leaving her face as her silver eyes bounced back and forth between Stagger and me.

Stagger and I stared at each other as Bijou got up and headed out of those white doors.

I was gonna fuck his girlfriend up.

“Whatever,” Stagger sighed, sitting back in his seat, staring up at the ceiling. “I can’t stop you anyway.”

“Damn right.”

“Whatever,” he said again.

“Yeah, whatever-whatever,” I snapped back.

“Okay.”

“Okay.”

“I’ll...” Chroma spoke up, gesturing at me to get my attention, “Run you over to Bijou’s later. Perhaps we should take a drive. Give you a moment to collect yourself. Besides, I think you’d like a small tour of Old Settler’s Place.”

I nodded and again shot Stagger a look.

“I’m gonna take off, Chroma,” Stagger stood up from the table. “Charlie, try to have a better day. If you wanna talk, I’m at the Maxwell Avery on the South End. You got an icon?” He asked, doing me the favor still of not looking me in the eyes. He was looking at the table top.

“Yeah. I do.” my voice was short.

Testy.

“Alright,” He replied, his voice slow. I could tell he was starting to pick up on the fact that I was mad at not just Bijou, but him as well. “If this is about me leaving you back there... I promise you that’s not what happened. I’d never do that to you.”

“It’s not.”

“Well, what i-” he stopped when Chroma lifted a hand. “Alright, kiddo. I’ll talk to you later. You can find me on the icon network. S dot Lee, Com-ID 442.”

Words appeared in my vision.

Would you like to save S. Lee CID 442? Y/N

I selected no.

“Got it. I’ll call you.”

“Good.” He nodded, “I hope you do.”

Chroma had the decency to wait until he was gone before he asked me.

“So what’s really bothering you?”

“Stuff. You got anything to drink here?”

“Charlie. Is that what you really want?”

“Yeah. That’s what I really want. A stiff fuckin’ drink.”

Chroma stood up from his seat, walked over to my side of the table and tapped it two times in front of me.

“Well, you can’t have it.”

“Fuck you!” I roared, bursting up from my chair. “You wanna tell me what I want too, huh?”

“Charlie,” Chroma said, his voice a warning.

“What? What!?” I growled, “What are you gonna do you fuckin’ blind freak?”

I shoved him. Hard.

He stood before me just as solid and resolute as if I’d never stood up. His body didn’t move an inch despite my best effort. My wrists ached and I rubbed them with my tingling hands.

What was I thinking to consider shoving Chroma God of all people?

He didn’t get angry. He tilted his head to examine my face as if he still had eyes behind those lenses.

“Look, I’m sorry,” I said, turning away from him.

“It’s alright. If you need someone to take it out on, I’m here for you. Just don’t get so caught up in anger that you forget who you are.” He placed a hand on my shoulder.

I sighed, “Yeah. I’m the great Siobhan.”

“No, Siobhan is the great Charlotte.” He tapped my shoulder then headed for the door. “Let’s get you home. Are you hungry?”

I pouted a little then nodded

“I’m always hungry.”

* * *

An hour later, Chroma dropped me in front of Bijou’s building with a bag of fast food in one hand and my travel bag in the other. It was in the Residential District. Chroma said he lived in the Entertainment District in the north, full of restaurants, a big casino, food carts and shopping pavilions everywhere. We drove through it in his ball shuttle so he could show me around. There was even a theater across the street from his house.

I was only slightly worried about being driven around by a blind man.

Bijou, however, lived in a much quieter part of town with almost no traffic. There was a little park down the road that we passed that I could barely make out in the dark. The whole city was somewhat drab, subdued and uninteresting. I expected a lot more when Chroma mentioned a tour.

Bijou’s building was clean and tidy. A squat little three story that probably housed eight or nine units at most. I went inside and halfway expected a doorman to put me out like at Robin’s place, but what I got was the person at the front desk looking at me wide-eyed.

“Oh my days,” he said, recognizing my face. “You look just like...”

Chroma God came inside after me moments later and he looked between the two of us.

“Are you?” The doorman asked.

I looked around a little and nodded, trying to avoid his eyes.

“Mikael, we’ve had a very long day. Do you mind getting her a key to Bijou’s apartment?” Chroma asked.

Mikael nodded and started inputting commands on the air above the countertop. At first, the movement confused me but then I remembered my travel icon. I set it free with a gesture of my hand and with it in the air, I could see the little digital screen he was typing on illuminated for me.

“Incoming,” he said, and my travel icon spelled out words in my vision once again.

Information: Room 6, floor 2. Queen residence.

Saving...

Complete!

“Thank you,” Chroma gave the man a nod and offered his hand to me to shake, “rest easy tonight. We’ll see you tomorrow. Let’s say around midday. And Mikael?”

“Sir?” Mikael stood up straight.

“Let’s keep this little visit private, shall we? I’ll expect your discretion in this matter.”

“Absolutely, Chroma God,” He nodded.

I shook Chroma’s hand.

“Midday, gotcha,” I nodded as well, watching Chroma start away.

“Hey, uh... Siobhan?” I heard Mikael say and I turned to face him.

“Yeah?” I said, massaging the bridge of my nose, trying not to seem irritated.

“Can... I have an autog-”

“Go fuck yourself, Mikael.”

“Right. Sorry.”

I clenched my jaw and headed for the interior of the building. I took the stairs two at a time, my pulse quickening. I fast walked for the elegant lift by the potted plants at the back end of the upper floor, smashing the button rapidly with my fingers.

“Think you’re gonna fuckin’ push me around, whore? Oh, I’m gonna beat your ass.”

I was excited. The thought of picking a fight and winning for a change nearly had me aroused. All I could imagine was grabbing her by the throat and bashing her face in...

Like Robin had done to me.

My shoulders sank.

“Fuck.”

Blowing a sigh I realized at that moment exactly what I couldn’t do. I couldn’t be Robin. I couldn’t be anything like her and live up to Siobhan’s memory. I needed to be a person that Starland and Sindri could be proud of.

I remembered Starland’s face as I stepped onto the elevator, smelling the delicious, sweet, and spicy smells coming from the bag in my hand. Chroma had insisted I try the Old Settler; a toasted sandwich on cold stone wheat with some strange meat farm raised in Khione Valley down in the Icy Moor. He said it came from a kind of cow-like creature with a beak called a Rompi. I recognized the name as the creature Starland said her family raised in the Valley where both she and Siobhan were from. Chroma had said it tasted like chicken and beef combined.

I reasoned that I liked chicken and beef and both of them together sounded fantastic. Plus it came with a savory smelling dipping sauce.

By the time I’d gotten off on Bijou’s floor, I knew what I had to do. Lording my power over someone wasn’t right. If Bijou disliked me that much, it didn’t matter. I still had the moral obligation to protect her. Even if it was from my own strength.

I got to her door and held my hand over the knob.

“It’s just pain, Charlie. Been here before.” I could only pray she wasn’t a lesser celestial like her boyfriend Stagger Lee. Or that she didn’t have an uppercut like my sister Rockin’ Robin.

I opened the door after a deep breath, steadying myself. I set my mind to the decision. If she wanted to hurt me, I’d let her. But if I could talk her out of it, I would.

Bijou’s apartment wasn’t what I expected. I thought it would be full of accolades and trophies on the wall. Pictures of her family and friends. A big homage to being an ordinary basic bitch with everything handed to her in life. Maybe the fresh smell of a Pumpkin Spice Latte.

All basic bitches drank Pumpkin Spice Lattes.

What I got was actually really cool.

Her living room wall was covered in pop culture references from Earth. Bands I’d heard of before, pictures of places I’d seen on TV before, and there was even a big framed discography for the band Queen taking up most of one wall. It even housed a massive poster of Freddie Mercury.

She had her passport in a glass display case on a table by one of her big windows. Every page of it looked stamped from the way she had it splayed open.

I let the door close behind me as I stepped further inside.

She had a big, puffy, cream-colored sectional with a big footrest in the living room. Her carpet was a funky lime green color and she had matching throw pillows on the couch. The walls had coral blue, textured wallpaper on them and as my travel icon lit the long, low table that looked like a TV stand, I saw the digital rectangle of a floating widescreen being projected from a little slit on the TV stand’s surface.

Would you like to enter HUD mode? Y/N

I selected yes.

I lifted my hand and took my travel icon, allowing it to disappear into my multi-tool. Then I lifted my hand to my hair, turning my scarf into a white hair tie. I pulled my hair back into a big frizzy ball behind my head and bound it with my multi-tool.

I understood quickly what HUD view meant.

Bijou’s entire apartment came to life with light, sound, and color. Music was playing from seemingly everywhere, a high energy frenetic tone from some animated series that I couldn’t quite put my finger on. Baubles on her table had little miniature fireworks displays going off above them. A series of snow globes on the shelf to my right all had grand stage shows going on inside of them with singing, dancing, and fanfare. I could hear each one as my eyes moved from one to the next, silencing the ones I looked away from. I could still see her digital screen on the TV stand without my icon out. As I looked around her apartment, lots of things came to life that originally were sitting still.

I almost jumped when I saw a little black cat trot over to me and start rubbing against the side of my soft boots. It rubbed its mouth on me, then slid it’s body along my ankle, rubbing its scent on me like I was a piece of furniture.

Setting my travel bag down by her door I knelt down and gave the little kitty a scratch under its chin. The jingle of its collar made me tip it up with a finger to read the animated letters sparkling on the tag.

Mercury.

Cute.

The little cat took a seat and watched me as I walked past the cream-colored stools at the bar. They had lime green seats. Looking through the bar window, I saw Bijou in the kitchen.

She was wearing denim short-shorts, her long legs displayed openly. She had muscle in her thick thighs that reminded me of a volleyball player.

I glared at her ass.

It looked about as full as mine if not more so. Only she had the tits to balance her hips.

She really was fucking perfect.

I hated her more.

She had the short sleeves of her t-shirt rolled up and I could make out the image of a tattoo on her right shoulder. She was cutting up what looked like strawberries and little squares of chocolate bar on a cutting board, paying me no attention.

“Hey,” I said.

She turned, those silver eyes attacking me.

My eyes bolted to the floor.

“Hey to you,” She said, her tone tight.

Here we go.

“Nice place.”

“Thanks.”

I came around the bar and set my bag of food down on it, my arms crossing over my chest to grab at my elbows.

“You wanted to talk?” I asked, keeping my eyes down.

Bijou walked away from her kitchen counter to circle me.

My heart raced. I could feel her eyes on the back of my head.

“So is it an act, or what?”

I blinked, my eyebrows twitching as I turned around, “Is what an act?”

“You know what I’m talking about. Don’t play stupid.” Her eyebrows pulled down into a frown.

I blew a sigh and looked away from her face again.

“Look, I don’t know what you’re talkin’ about. And frankly, I’m really gettin’ sick of this bullshit. If you got a problem with me, spit it out, alright? Let’s just clear the air now and get it over with.”

I brought my eyes up to glare at her, challenging her.

“Problem with you?” She asked.

“You wanna smack me around, right? Fine. I won’t stop you. Do whatever makes you happy,” I shrugged my shoulders, twisting my lips to one side, trying to resist the burning in my eyes.

Fuck.

I was gonna cry again.

“I asked you a question,” Bijou said, stepping in closer and I backed up a step. She took another and I fell back two more my arms uncrossing, bumping into her refrigerator.

“Yeah, I heard you,”

She was in my face, glaring.

My voice was tiny. “I dunno what you want me to say.”

“This whole Chicago, Jersey tough girl, walk-it-like-I-talk-it bullshit. Is it an act, or is that how you really are?”

“You got a problem with how I walk and talk now? I can’t do anything about that.”

“Just answer the question.”

“No! Alright? It’s not an act.” I snapped back at her, “and I’m not from Chicago.”

“Yeah? Where from?”

“New York, what’s it m-” Bijou shoved her mouth against mine so hard my head hit the refrigerator. My hands came up to try and push her away, but she was stronger than I thought. She grabbed my wrists, forcing them up behind my head, stealing my mouth more.

She broke that hard, smothering series of kisses and I gasped in surprise.

“Because hearing your accent coming out of that beautiful mouth really does it for me.”

I stared in those silver eyes and replayed every glare she had given me today.

They weren’t glares. They were the look predator gave prey. Bijou wasn’t just asking me to shut up earlier.

She needed me to.

I remembered her asking me if I liked to eat cookies on the shuttle ride down and the thought now only made me feel dense for not seeing it then.

I remembered turning around all day seeing her staring at the back of what I thought was just my head.

Bijou wasn’t mad at me.

Bijou wanted me.

“Um... Bijou... I th-” she shut me up again, her mouth pressing against mine, making me submit with the passion of her lips.

“We-” I tried multiple times to speak but every time I did she sealed our lips together, her head moving, taking my lips any way she could get them.

“Shh,” she said, and her cool breath hit my bottom lip. My mouth opened, trying to catch mine. “I’m gonna let go of your wrists. Don’t move them.” Her hands started sliding down my body.

“Okay,” was all I could say. I was too shocked to think of anything else.

I had butterflies in my stomach.

I was lightheaded.

I couldn’t tell if I wanted her to stop or not. What I did know was that she managed to make the temperature between my thighs rise to a noticeable, burning ache.

One of her hands was at my side, sliding under my shirt, feeling my skin. I felt her fingernails dig in and I winced. She stole the sound of my pain with another kiss, forcing me to breathe it out through my nose. Then I heard the drawer beside me open and the sound of metal click about.

I looked to my left and saw her lifting a pair of wrist straps up above my head. My eyes moved back to look at her, my coffee brown stare searching the silver pools in front of me.

“You keep handcuffs in there with the salad forks?” I asked and she shook her head.

“Mm-mm,” She intoned.

“Oh... you put those in there for me.”

“Mm-hm,” she nodded and I felt her bind my wrists together above my head.

“Bijou, listen... We really need to talk.”

“You’re not into girls?” She asked, lifting an eyebrow.

I opened my mouth, but words failed me.

Fuck, she was beautiful.

“I’m... like the unemployment office.”

“Huh?” She scrunched her nose up and tilted her head.

“Equal opportunity.”

Bijou laughed and I kind of chuckled nervously.

“Look, I’m not trying to shoot you down, it’s just... I mean, you and Stagger and,” she lifted a finger to my lips.

“I think you’ve got the wrong idea.” My eyebrows lifted, “my god your lips are so soft.” She said, pressing her mouth to mine again.

“I’m a little confused right now, Bee,” I said, my eyes traveling down to look at her peach lips. Watching her speak.

“Fine. We can talk about it.”

“Oh, good,” I let out a sigh of relief, “I-”

“After.”

My mouth opened a few times to protest, her hands grabbed me by the middle and our lips met again. She turned me to her kitchen island and helped me up onto it.

I watched her step a foot onto the shelf below me to climb up, bringing my cuffed wrists to a hook on the pot organizer above. My cheeks burned as her breasts pressed against my face.

When she stepped down, she turned her back to me, back to those strawberries and chocolate bars she was cutting up earlier.

I got a good look at that tattoo on her right shoulder.

It was of whirling clouds around words.

She’s Like The Wind, the tattoo read.

I sat there on her island, at her mercy with my hands handcuffed above my head, trying to figure out the significance of a 1987 ballad by Patrick Swayze while my eyes drank in her shape.

Maybe she was a Jennifer Grey fan.

Pre-nose job.

Maybe she thought Patrick Swayze was sexy?

Come to think of it, I thought he was sexy too.

Roadhouse sexy. Beating up bad guys and...

Dirty Dancing was a good movie, though.

Where was my mind?

Bijou had me so turned on I couldn’t get my thoughts straight.

I pressed my thighs together hoping to god she couldn’t tell how wet I was.

“Bijou, I dunno if after is such a good idea. I definitely think we should talk be-”

“Stick out your tongue.” She said with that gorgeous smile on her face, turning to me.

Again I tried to protest but she reached behind me and tugged my pony puff hard enough to make me tip my head back. I cried out and her mouth found my throat. Her icy cool breath tickled my skin.

My eyes drifted shut.

I couldn’t stop the moan that came out of me as I felt her tongue taste my skin. As I felt her sink her teeth in against my throat.

“Ah-,”

My mouth opened and she pushed a piece of chocolate with a sliver of strawberry into it. I felt her tugging a hickey onto my skin. Her hands were working at the buckle and zipper of my jeans.

I didn’t have anymore protest left in me.

I lifted my ass, wiggled right out of my jeans and panties and kicked my boots off. I sat back down on that cool kitchen island chewing the sweet and tart combination in my mouth, feeling the texture of those strawberry seeds as her hands rubbed my thighs, pushing them apart.

“After,” she leaned in and whispered in my ear, her hands pushing my shirt up, exposing my nipples to the air.

She pressed her lips to mine again and I kissed back. Our lips desperately brushed and pressed against each other. I felt her bite my bottom lip and my mouth opened, letting out a pained groan. Her tongue slid between my lips, dancing with mine in my mouth.

We kissed hard, our heads moving, tasting each other until the corners of my mouth ached.

Bijou took a piece of chocolate between her teeth and moved in to kiss me again. I bit my half of the chocolate square and our lips met once more before she started kissing her way down my body. My head tipped back and my eyes closed again, chewing that corner of the chocolate bar. Letting the rich, sweet tang tickle my tongue as her mouth played over my skin. I felt her give my stomach a little nip with her teeth. Her tongue danced in my belly button, thrilling me, making me pull my stomach in to try and run from her. I felt the ache and want between my thighs as she teased me.

She moved further down.

I couldn’t stop her.

Bijou’s mouth was my personal religion.

And she made me sing its praises.

Loud.