The Show Must Go On

Six days. That’s all we had left. Six days and I was no closer to getting any better with that sword. In my head, I could see the movements Siobhan made. My brain was making the connection between my hand and my thoughts, but for some reason, there was always something off about it. Either my footwork wasn’t there or I had a short follow through. Nothing seemed to be going my way.

Me and Bijou went up to that stone clearing day after day and all it resulted in was me being pummeled by her amazing speed. We would spar until she had to head down and meet with Chroma and Stagger, and then Stagger would take up my lessons in the evening. I barely rested. Stagger would have to force me to take breaks, to even drink water. The only thing coming out of my training sessions that we were all aware of was the fact that day by day my ability to soak a beating was increasing.

All I could think about was Gozen harming the forgefolk, or of Orcus doing god knows what to my sister. To make matters worse, I also kept thinking about the fact that I hadn’t even the courage to face him in a mirror. Chroma God told me it was all for the best. If Orcus saw where I was it would give our play away too soon.

I was in a perpetual state of exhaustion, but after Chroma got back from the Bacchus Theater, we found out what little time we had left and it made the pressure that much greater.

We were in Chroma’s office again that night. The fireplace was crackling and popping away nearby, staving off the cold of the evening air above us. Chroma was standing by it with his hands in his pockets, outlining exactly what we would be facing at Hymeris’ place. Stagger was sitting at the table, his travel icon hovering in front of him as he moved through the map of the world, zooming in on where the Bacchus Theater was located.

His icon was a matte black cube with a red, square light for a scanner. Its rounded corners and red, beaming ambiance moving about as if it were looking all around the room.

He pulled the three-dimensional map open, zooming in to the High Moor that sat a twenty-hour flight above us at the current elevation and rotation of the continents. I watched the concern on his face as Chroma spoke, Bijou sitting beside me chiming in when she had things to add.

That map was so odd to me.

It seemed that as the land masses circled the black core at the center of the planet, true north stayed the same, as did true south, but all the other directions on it changed rapidly. Then there was the host of continents that only recognized true east and true west. That was a whole other layer of confusion to sort. The map kept up with the compass movement, but I saw that up was a relative term to what way your own floating rock was facing. Up could very well end up east or true north depending upon the time of day. I could sympathize with the need to create travel icons in the first place.

All I could do was sit there and feel useless. The last time I had seen this world I was someone else and that someone had managed to punch enough holes in my memory to make sure I was constantly asking myself if what I was remembering was real or not.

“The Bacchus Theater isn’t the kind of place to get trapped. Time seems to pass differently in its walls, though most of us can’t be sure if it’s the drink or if it’s the actual theater itself.” Chroma said.

I lifted my eyes from the side of Stagger’s face to his sightless lenses.

“Drink?” I asked.

“Yeah,” Bijou replied. “Hymeris has this drink she makes in the cellars of the theater called Ambrosia. It flows through the pipes, it flows through the fountains. It even surrounds the theater itself. It was ours. The drink of the original gods, though some would argue she’s altered the recipe some. Knowing her, I don’t doubt it.”

“Has she?” I asked, figuring she’d know for certain.

“Oh, I’m sure of it,” Bijou nodded, “It used to be the best thing the tongue could ever taste. Like all the sweet and happy things in the world condensed into every sip. Now it just seems like a potent drug that alters the senses and brings on the madness of pleasure.”

“Nectar of the gods, huh?” Stagger said, leaning back in his seat, his travel icon hovering beside him. “More like liquid insanity.”

Bijou’s black cat hopped up from the floor and onto the table. It looked at me and gave a little meow. I felt my eyebrows tighten a little bit, wondering just where it had come from.

“Why’d you bring your cat?” I asked her.

“My cat? Oh!” She reached out, scooping up Mercury and bringing him to her chest, scratching at his ears. “I’m sorry, do cats bother you?”

“No... no, I just didn’t see you bring him. I mean, we walked all the way here and I didn’t notice you had him in your arms.” I said, feeling a little vacant and confused.

Was she carrying that little black fuzzball this whole way and I just failed to pay attention?

“I didn’t.”

“What, was he on a fuckin’ leash?” I asked, my expression somewhere between puzzled and surprised.

“No, silly.” She laughed, patting my arm. “Mercury’s my travel icon.”

“What!?” I balked, staring at her, “you can turn ’em into animals!?” I quickly summoned mine from my palm and let it hover in the air.

“Aye, Wee Lass. What can I do for ya?” My icon asked.

“Turn into an animal,” I demanded.

“Well, I can’t just magic myself into something you haven’t purchased,” Shiny gave its testy reply.

“It’s an add-on, Charlie,” Stagger said, bringing up a menu of options in front of him with a gesture.

I found myself in HUD mode more often. The world was certainly more interesting that way. I didn’t even know it was possible to have that many options. Even people’s clothes looked different in HUD mode. Everything seemed infinitely customizable.

The outline of clothing beamed with twinkling light, accent colors splashed about, patterns and widgets, emoticons, artwork. A person could decorate themselves in a bunch of ways with Lite Lights, they were called. I quickly reasoned that HUD mode was where people individualized and expressed themselves.

Even Bijou was decked out in silver and blue Lite Light. I remembered her telling me that some cities and even countries had ordinances concerning how bright and animated a person’s personal belongings could be. Visual disturbance laws. It was all so unreal.

She had white and blue lines of light outlining the lapels of her future-perfect bomber jacket, the rolled up sleeves had little animated cherries exploding around them now and again. Around one of her wrists was a digital watch face made entirely of light.

Stagger’s dark coat was wreathed in white light. His white tie glowed brilliantly in HUD mode and every now and then it would darken to the image of a swirling galaxy. A cartoonish skull and crossbones was on his right shoulder, sticking its tongue out and slathering digital spittle all over.

He pushed his screen over to me and I looked up at it, reading the details spelled out in the Travel Icon Pack submenu.

“Aye, would you like to make a purchase from the T- ... from the Appstore?” The voice of my icon said with a heavy frown in its tone that I could practically hear.

It really didn’t like using the term Appstore.

I looked at Stagger’s screen in front of me, then dropped my brown eyes to the price.

“What the fuck is that symbol next to the buy button?” I asked, pointing at the strange icon next to the price of the item labeled House Cat Behaviors.

It was a cartoonish lightning bolt.

“Boltas,” Chroma said, and his tone suggested if he had eyes he would have rolled them.

“Boltas? The fuck is a Bolta?”

“Money, Charlie,” Stagger sighed.

“Hey, excuse the fuck out of me if I’m bringing the party down. I’ve got questions, alright?” I crossed my arms over my chest and sat back in my chair in a huff.

“That’s not what he’s sighing about,” Chroma said and Bijou chuckled.

“What then?” I snapped, perturbed.

“My boy renamed the currency after Ragnarok,” Bijou pointed out.

“Wait, Boltas as in lightning bolts?” I replied, my eyes squinting in disgust.

“Yup,” Stagger said, his voice dry and humorless, “It’s pretty disgusting.”

“Jesus. Fucker really is in love with himself.”

“Mhm, it seems that way,” Bijou responded, her tone distracted.

I looked over to see her browsing her own digital screen, looking at new icon behavior packs. A snowman, Talking Poodle, Popular Cartoons Pack.

A little jealous, I tapped the buy button on Stagger’s screen, forgetting it wasn’t mine.

“Hey!” Stagger bitched, his icon turning from a black matte cube into a black cat, sitting on the table in front of him, cleaning itself.

“Oh. Shit, sorry,” I apologized as he pulled the digital screen back over to him.

“That cost me thirteen boltas. Thank you. Thanks a lot,” he deadpanned back, his hands thrown out to his sides in resignation, staring at me.

“I forgot I was looking at your screen, lemme alone!” I shrugged, “not that I want a black cat or anything, I just figured anything beats this,” I tapped at my own basic silver sphere, finding it a little less amazing now that I knew it could look like just about anything else.

“Oh, sure, sure, that makes sense. When did you get paid?” He asked.

“Paid? I don’t have a job here. Hell, I don’t even have a fuckin’ job back home.”

“Yeah, exactly. Stop pushing buttons you can’t afford,” He said, glowering at me.

“Gimme some money.” I shot back.

“No.”

“Gimme some money, Stag.”

“No, Charlie. Would you just focus?” He said, his index and middle fingers pointing at his own eyes then to Chroma, directing where mine should be.

I sighed. My eyes drifted lazily over to Bijou.

“What?” She asked, glancing at me for a moment before going back to icon pack shopping.

“Gimme some money, Bijou.”

Bijou blinked.

Slowly.

“Charlie,” She turned to look at me, “you’re adorable, you really are, but I don’t loan money. Besides, I just bought you clothes.”

“Do you want me to beg?” There was a playful smile on my face.

“Later,” Bijou let a smile pull at the corners of her mouth.

“Hey! Don’t be a perv,” I pushed her shoulder, my face screwed up in mock disgust.

“If we’re quite finished, children,” Chroma said, leaning against the mantle of the fireplace.

Bijou was snickering.

Stagger tapped a few buttons on his display, turning his icon back into a black cube.

“That’s alright, Lass. If you wait till Sunday there’s a free icon pack sale,” My icon said in a conspiratorial whisper.

“Thanks,” I whispered back, dropping my chin into my hands as I looked at Chroma.

“Are we ready to get back on task?” Chroma pointed at the map.

I stared at him with a flat expression.

“Gimme some money, Chroma.”

Bijou and Stagger dissolved into wheezing snickers, hiding their mouths as their shoulders jumped.

“I don’t have any,” Chroma replied, his tone dry, flat and lifeless as he summoned his travel icon.

A triangular prism appeared in front of him, casting a rainbow of light out into the air. His display didn’t default to a map, but rather to a fully customized screen with multiple options, all within a rolling, silvery, puffy cloud that manifested all around him.

“Liar,” I muttered.

Chroma’s attention moved to his menus, pulling up a bird’s eye view of a large, sprawling pink and gold estate sitting at the heart of a big body of pink water.

“Looks like an amusement park fucked a mansion and had a Rated R baby,” I said.

“You’re not far off the mark. This is the Bacchus Theater. Two of you have seen it before at least. As a slave, Siobhan was likely never allowed to take part in anything that happens there.”

“She didn’t miss much,” Bijou said, twisting her mouth at the sight of the place.

“No kidding,” Stagger huffed. “You think you had vices before, that place is on a whole nother level of addiction. Gambling, substance abuse, drinking. Just about any debauched thing you can think of. I don’t even think the island that place sits on is governed by law.”

“It isn’t. Unlike Old Settler’s Place, the Bacchus Theater isn’t a neutral zone. Here we have the sanctuary law on our side. A law that thankfully Perun himself enforces to try and keep the favor of the High People. There, however, anything goes,” Chroma replied.

“High People?” I asked.

“Anyone that lives above the 4th elevation. Most of them are Valhallites. Perun keeps their countries rich with commerce and they thank him by-” Bijou started, but I interrupted her.

“Suckin’ his dick. Got it.”

“I was going to say swearing their allegiance to the Bright Throne, but whatever works.”

“Yes, well,” Chroma continued. “Sanctuary makes Perun look like a kind and just god. He shows his enemies respect, honors rules of engagement and has his valkyrie enforce a form of parlay.”

“What’s Parlay?” I asked.

“A deal, essentially. A wartime deal,” Stagger replied.

“Like askin’ favors?”

“Yes,” Chroma said, “similar. Generally, both parties acquiesce to a term and are obligated to make sure that condition is met in the event of a stalemate in battle.”

“Oh, you’re talkin’ about Blood and Blade.” I nodded.

“Exactly,” Chroma pointed at me, “The valkyrie code of honor. Perun respects it and to some extent lives by it and rules by it. The valkyrie may be sadistic and cruel in their methods, but they are at least fair if you can either best one of them or force a stalemate.”

“Stalemate or a stay of execution. Like if they’re ordered to stop before you die. It’s still a draw. And it’s not really called a parlay though,” I explained, finally able to add something helpful. “it’s a Truce Rite. Usually, the underdog in a Truce Rite gets the right to make the request. As long it’s not a fuckin’ stupid request,” I shrugged.

“I’m sure we’d all like to know what qualifies as ‘fuckin’ stupid’,” Bijou said using her fingers to make air quotes while she attempted her best imitation of my New York accent.

“Oh, right. Sorry. I mean, like, as long as you don’t ask somethin’ that gives your side an unfair advantage or takes advantage of the rite.”

Bijou, Chroma, and Stagger all nodded.

“If you haven’t read Gozen Morrow’s Blood and Blade, I suggest you all try it some time,” Chroma looked around at each of us.

“That’s a hard pass,” I scoffed, “Lived it. No thanks.”

Chroma nodded. I didn’t have to say anything for him to know my feelings on it. I had a lifetime worth of memories of Gozen pounding Blood and Blade into my little body one beating at a time.

“So Hymeris and Neverland Ranch, what’s so important about it? I know you said last time it’s our only way into the Underworld. So what, we just roll up to the club, tip the bouncer and get in, or what?”

“It’s not that simple,” Bijou replied.

“Exactly.” Stagger laughed a little, “Hymeris never gives anything away. There’s always a fee. Always something you’ve gotta give up to get what you want. On top of that, odds are we’re gonna have a NEST Army problem when we get there.”

“Yeah,” I nodded, “I figured that part out. If that’s the only place outside of Demonhead and Valhalla that’ll get us where we need to go, it makes sense they’ll be waiting on us to show up.”

“And when we do, we’ll have a fight on our hands,” Chroma added, “The water around it is mixed with Ambrosia. We can’t touch it without being subject to madness. Furthermore, passage to the Underworld sits at the heart of the Estate inside of the Bacchus Theater itself. Hymeris won’t care much for stopping us, she’s a neutral god with no real stake in all of this, but she’s a pragmatist. She’ll sell us out to Perun for the coin or just for the fun of it, and the Bifrost moves in six days time, which means we have to be ready for the fight. The one advantage we have is that they think you’ll be coming alone.”

“And with them not knowing Bijou’s back,” Stagger pointed out, “the opposition won’t be their A-Team. I doubt we’ll see any valkyrie.”

“What’d Hymeris say when you were there?” Bijou asked.

“She asked me if I knew Charlie was in Blue Veil,” Chroma replied, “to which I obviously said no, but we have to assume Orcus told her the truth. She likely knew I was lying from the moment I arrived.”

“Where are the valkyrie right now?” I asked, looking up at Chroma from the table top.

“Still at Demonhead.”

“And the elite guard was ordered back to the Bright Throne when the bodies of the twins turned up,” Stagger pointed at me.

“That’s correct. Their ignorance of the whole truth will be our advantage.” Chroma gave me a reassuring nod and I sat back in my chair.

“Alright,” I stood up from the table, “what about the elephant in the room, guys?”

“Which one?” Chroma said, a rare smile finding his face.

“The fact that me and my sword aren’t exactly gettin’ along.”

Everyone was silent then and I nodded, heading towards the door.

“Where are you going?” Stagger asked, standing up and coming after me, “Charlie.”

I stopped at the door and looked back at him.

“Back up the valley wall,” I said, my tone resolute, “This one’s on me. I gotta figure this shit out or we’re all fucked.”

Chroma lifted his dark lenses to me from the fireplace.

“Charlie,” he said and I looked his way, “I think you’re going about it all wrong. Perhaps it’s not you and the sword that need to agree.”

“Can somebody please just spit out what the fuck they mean for once? This place is like a book of fuckin’ madlibs and riddles sometimes,” I bitched, my lip curling.

“I mean to say,” he continues, “you’re not a valkyrie, Siobhan was. Why do you keep trying to fight like one?”

Bijou and Stagger looked at each other. I turned and looked first to Stag, then to Bijou realizing they had all caught on to something I hadn’t.

“What?” I asked, one of my eyebrows sliding up.

“Way ahead of you,” Bijou said, standing up and heading to the door to meet Stagger and I. “You two head up the valley wall. I’ll be back,” she said, pushing through the white doors.

“Where are you goin’?” I asked her.

“To the Lightly Perch.”

I felt a thrill of excitement and deep longing run through me. I was homesick for the forges.

“I’m comin’ too.”

“You can’t. You and Stagger need to keep at it. I know you miss your family at the Perch, but now’s not the time to lose focus. I’ve got this,” Bijou said and I looked her in those silver eyes.

A long, pregnant pause passed between us before I finally dropped my head and nodded.

“Fine. Tell everybody I said hi.”

Nothing hurt like knowing I couldn’t go back there. Back home.

“I will,” Bijou took one of my hands in hers, rubbing it with her thumbs, “just remember what you’re fighting for.”

I nodded again, disappointment on my face.

“Meanwhile,” Her cat came trotting over to us, “Stagger, you need to find out as much information as you can. Call me on the icon network and let me know what develops. Looking at the map, the Perch is closer to us now than it’s ever going to get. It’s practically a straight shot true south with almost no land masses between us. I think I can get there in six hours if I step on it.”

“We’re on it,” he nodded and Bijou left. “Alright, Chroma, we’ll be back. Charlie, on the way to the valley wall, I need you to tell me everything you can remember about your fight with the twins. Don’t leave anything out.”

“A-alright, I...” I looked at Stagger, “how’s me givin’ you a detailed account of how badly I got my ass kicked supposed to help?”

“You won.”

“So?”

“So we need to find out why and how. C’mon.” He hurriedly headed out the door and I followed.

* * *

Over the next hour while we got our things together and took Stagger’s ball shuttle up to the valley wall I recounted to Stagger the details of how the twins had kicked my ass all over the perch. I explained to him that most of it was me getting lucky. I told him that every swing of my sword felt like it was Siobhan saving my life more so than me actually taking measured strikes. I was on the defensive the entire fight.

“When were you doing the most damage?” He asked, and I had to tell him that I really wasn’t.

“I mostly wore them down. There were two of them so there wasn’t a lot I could do,” I said.

“You were on the defensive though. Like, what was that like?” He asked.

“I dunno. I guess I felt the most confidence when my sword wasn’t in my hand. I spent most of that time blocking using my forgemaster gloves and back peddling with my multi-tool.”

The whole time he had his travel icon open and Bijou’s face was painted in the air beside us in tiny dots making up a detailed image of her in full color.

“Charlie,” she asked and I glanced over at her, not wanting to have to endure those piercing eyes of hers, even through the icon network.

“Yeah?” I said, stuffing mini snack cakes in my mouth from the pack Stagger bought me at the corner shop.

“When you had your gloves, you say you were punching their Atma. Like how exactly?”

“Bee, I mean it wasn’t a science or anything. I was just saving my own skin. I keep telling you guys, I wasn’t planning anything.” I sighed, irritated. “You guys just aren’t gettin’ it. It was muscle memory from another life responding using the best things I had on me at the time.”

“Humor me,” Bijou said.

“Alright, alright. So, like, they would swing at me and I knew I wasn’t as fast as them. Only thing I could do I figured was just let ’em hit me, y’know? So I did. I didn’t try to dodge the really hard shit, I stayed inside of the swing and used the heat plates on my gloves to stop ’em.”

“What about your wing? Did you defend much with it?” Stagger asked.

“Yeah, I mean a little. I didn’t really figure out it could block anything until I saw them do it once. My wing’s not as long as everybody else’s I’ve seen though. It’s only about four, maybe five feet long.”

“That’ll be Siobhan’s doing. She was a little woman like you. I imagine it was easier to be mobile with a smaller wingspan,” Bijou reasoned.

“Faster flight too,” Stagger nodded.

“Faster?” I curled my lip, “How’s a smaller wing equal faster flight?”

“Well we’re not actually birds, are we? The multi-tool always generates the same lift and thrust. Some are built faster than others by cheating the math a little. Like tuning a stock car. Everyone’s wing specs are different. She was doing it to shave weight and decrease the travel path for her wing,” Bijou answered and I nodded back.

“Oh. Wish I was that fuckin’ smart.” I think back to Siobhan and her kind green eyes. I’d give anything to talk to her again. To ask her how to channel her power.

“Technically you are. You’re the same person. We just need to figure out how this version of you is comfortable operating.” Bijou looked right into her travel icon, catching my eyes studying her face.

My eyes bolted for the window.

I heard her give a little laugh.

“What?” I asked, not looking back.

“You’re so cute. Anyway, I think I have an idea.”

“What you got?” Stagger asked as we reached the valley wall, both of us hopping out and starting to unload our things.

“Turtle speed,” she said. “Gotta go. I need to call Starland.”

“Starland?” I asked, turning to look at her face floating beside Stagger. “What’s she got to do with this?”

“She patched you up after the fight, right? I think Chanticleer has a travel icon I might be able to reach out to. I know the forgefolk don’t really use them, but we might get lucky.”

“Smart. That’s really smart,” Stagger gave a little smile and Bijou waved, disappearing.

I looked at Stagger.

“I’m missing somethin’ again, aren’t I?”

“Yup. I’ll explain later, do me a favor,” He said, nudging his chin at me.

“What?”

“Give me your sword. Just pop your wing. Let’s just practice your flight game and defense. Seems like that’s your strong suit.”

“Okay... what do you need my Atma for?”

“Blunt edge. I don’t want to risk cutting you. As it stands, I’m faster than you.”

“Oh, gotcha.” I nodded.

We made our way to the summit once again, that wide, familiar clearing in the stone expanding out in front of me as I walked to its center on Stagger’s heels.

I pulled my sword out of the air and gave it a toss towards him. Stagger turned, snatched it out of the air and broke the blade free of its scabbard, tossing the sheath aside. That long, black wing of his bursts free from his back, my smaller tawny owl wing cresting soon after.

“Alright,” he said, bringing the sword up, bending its tip down to point at me, the blade parallel to the ground beside his face as both of his hands tightened around the grip.

“So what’s the game plan?”

“I’m coming at you with everything I have. I don’t want you to attack.”

“You don’t want me to attack?” I balked, my head tilting like a curious puppy.

“Do the exact opposite.”

I thought Stagger was fast before, but the way he ate the distance between us felt almost instantaneous. He was no Bijou, but the time between him pushing off of his back foot thirty feet from me and him thrusting the Atma’s point at my head just a few feet away was close enough to astound.

I didn’t have time to back away so I bent my body to the right. He compensated for it by turning the blunt edge of the Atma, whipping the blade at me. I bent down under it and spun back, my wing curling around me just in time to feel that sword thunk off of its feathers.

The strangest thing to me was the fact that the sound of the impact was metallic. Like two swords clashing together. I didn’t have time to put much thought into it. Stagger was pressing me hard.

For some reason, I looked down, watching his feet to predict his next move. I’m not sure why it just came to me to do so. I went with the notion. My eyes glanced about to watch his heels, his toes, and as I stood back up, I was watching his core. Using that information, I was able to dial my movements into his, ducking, turning and bending back away from his blade strikes.

He came on harder and it forced me back several steps, my wing having to whip forward and intercept a sword strike that would have broken my collar. It reacted without me thinking about it.

As if it was reacting to my fear.

“Whoa!” I yelled, surprised as I dropped low to my knees and spun round Stagger’s side to avoid a crossing chop of that sword.

“Exactly,” He shot back, turning on me to continue the attack.

He followed me with that blade, stabbing at me, cutting that blunt edge my way with every turn and forward step of his body.

“What?” I asked through hurried movements, hearing my wing take strike after strike as he spun into me and I spun back.

He drove me back again and I scuttled to the ground, rolling away. I made it up onto a knee as he came on again, forcing me to turn another revolution on my knees as before, blocking blade strikes with my wing. I was finally able to thrust my palms against the ground at the peak of another turn to launch me upward into the air. My wing caught me and gave a short, hard flap, shooting me vertical.

“Your multi-tool,” he looked up at me in the air, pointing the Atma at me.

“It’s just doin’ it’s own thing,” I said back.

“No, it’s reacting. Without a sword in your hand, you’re not thinking about a blade to protect you. You’re thinking about how to protect yourself.” He lowered the blade’s tip to the ground, “I used to worry about what my sword was doing so much that I never even considered the fact that the multi-tool could be used as both a weapon and a form of defense. Wasn’t until I saw the valkyrie fight first hand when I was a kid that made me aware of it. Just like you.”

“Yeah?”

My mind flashed back to old memories, seeing Brunhilde use her wing to watch her own back. Seeing Gozen use it and it alone to slaughter scores of men in battle. I descended from the air to touch down on my boots, walking over to Stagger.

“Yeah,” he confirmed. “Course that was a long time ago. A lifetime ago.” he looked me right in the eyes and I held the stare as long as I could.

My eyes retreated. I knew he wanted to tell me something personal. Something I didn’t feel like I deserved to hear.

“It’s the past,” I said, trying to distract him from my weakness.

“What was the best day of your life, Siobhan?” He asked, and I looked back at him with a frown. My wing disappeared.

“I don’t remember. Why are you callin’ me by my middle name? I told you, I’m not her.” I felt my shoulders drop. “And I never will be.”

“Stop it.” He said, jarring me with how abrupt his tone was.

“Stop what?” I said, my voice finding that tiny place it goes to hide when I’m intimidated.

He reached out and slammed me to his chest with a hug that was so sudden my feet didn’t keep up. He held my weight in one strong arm, the tips of my toes the only thing touching the ground.

We didn’t say anything. He just held me. I laid my head against his chest, one of my small hands playing with a button on his coat. I’m not sure how long we stood there in that embrace.

I didn’t care either.

“Listen to me,” His voice finally broke the silence. His tone was warm. It comforted me. Like everything was going to be just fine.

“Your whole life you’ve gone around living up to the shadow of a person that you feel like you’ll never be. You feel like she has somehow done what Charlie can’t.” He dropped the Atma and wrapped his other arm around me, rubbing my back. “I called you Siobhan because the only thing that changed when you died was your first name.”

I looked up at him and he looked back.

“You are her, Charlie. Every decision she ever made, every fight she ever fought. Death was just a pause in a long life, not a wall between two different ones.”

My eyes drifted down and away. I managed to find my feet and his arms slid away from the small of my back, moving upward to cup my face in his hands.

“Stag.”

“Yes, ma’am?”

I could feel the tickle of his thumb rubbing at the edge of my bottom lip. I pulled my lip in, my teeth catching it.

“I’m doin’ everything I can right now. I know what you want...but I...” I forced myself to meet his yearning look. “I can’t.”

Burning hope in those eyes turned to a quiet, crushed little ball of sadness and it hurt to see.

I looked away.

“Yes, ma’am.”

I could tell he wanted to yell at me. To tell me I was being silly. God, I wanted him to. If he yelled at me I could yell back and stop this thing from happening. I’d rather fight with him than have to think about how I felt.

He pulled me close and kissed my forehead.

I lifted my hand and gave his chest a weak punch.

“Jerk,” I said, my voice trembling.

I could feel tears trying to come out of my eyes.

The silence was filled with everything we probably should have said.

That I should have said.

I felt it like a weight on my chest as he pulled back. I felt empty without him against me. I stared at the ground, pushing my hands into my back pockets.

“Why?” I asked.

“Why what, Charlie?” He said more than asked, disappointment in his voice.

It hurt so bad to hear.

“Why do you...” I didn’t have the courage to ask him why he loved me. What if he didn’t? And how would I know for sure? The only thing I could be sure of is if he did, he’d be the only one.

I thought about my daddy then. I thought about my mistakes.

He picked up the Atma sword and walked back several paces, turning again to wield it at the ready.

“I dunno, Kiddo,” He tilted his wavy-haired head and gave me a crooked smile. “This world is full of very powerful people. I don’t think even they have the ability to change how they feel. Or who they feel it for.”

“Its complic-...”

“Stop...” He said, “I’m a big boy, Charlie. It’s not your job to make me feel better. You have to do what works for you.”

If he only knew how badly I wanted to take his love, put it in a locket and keep it. The truth that I had to face was the fact that I couldn’t be trusted with it. I was clean but I wasn’t better. This intoxicating world was so overwhelming it tricked me into thinking I would be okay. But I knew deep down, okay for me was still a long way away.

And I still had a monkey on my back.

I couldn’t be trusted not to crash or relapse back into the same bullshit that turned my life upside down. Using his love against him to feed my habit. I knew it wasn’t something I could have right now.

Maybe not ever.

Besides. People didn’t love like that, right? Nobody did. His infatuation would go away one day and he’d realize he made a mistake. I was just a hot little psycho he could tell his friends about one day.

Samantha should have been someone’s princess.

Not me.

I’m not supposed to have the things that I want.

I didn’t deserve it after the things I had done.

“Mistakes have a funny way of makin’ us all prisoners, Stag.”

Those tears I tried to stop fell from my eyes then. I saw him take a few concerned steps towards me, but my multi-tool sent my wing bursting out behind me.

“Stop, Stag. Please...”

I couldn’t let him come to me then. I would lose. I would fall into his arms and never be able to escape from them again.

One thing was clear.

Stagger Lee was my gravity.

“Charlie,” I heard him breathe my name.

I could see his hazel eyes from where I stood, beaming with the clouded sunlight.

“Please.” I felt my voice shake. My next breath stuck in my chest.

He nodded his head.

Stagger lifted the Atma Sword. When he came on this time, it was with a new fervor.

I scrambled back, danced away, spun, ducked that blade he sent hurtling towards my foolish head. He didn’t want to hurt me, I knew.

But I hurt him.

All I could hear was Robin’s voice echoing from the past.

That day mom and dad left town on a business trip and she locked me in the garage. She left me out there for two days, pounding on the door, screaming myself hoarse. She took my phone away from me. Beat me up when I begged for it back. She would come down every now and again and knock on the door.

“You still alive you little piece of shit?”

I knew if I didn’t say anything she’d come in.

“I’m fine.”

Sammy would sneak downstairs to talk to me through the locked door when she was supposed to be sleeping.

With Stagger raging his feelings at me, sending me rolling across the dirt to get away from the passion of his every swing, I felt like I was alone in that garage again. I shut him out like I did everyone else.

Because it’s mercy, right?

He didn’t understand that I’m the worst thing that could ever happen to him.

Stagger and I kept our pace for hours, neither of us saying a word. The shortest pause we took was for air, panting before we launched into another brutal dance. He and my Atma Sword kept me scrambling hard. The look in his eyes scared me.

“Stag.”

I tried to get his attention but he pushed on. My wing batted the Atma Sword out wide and I spun into him, grabbing him by the lapels of his coat.

“Stag!”

“Ma’am?” He said as if snapping out of a trance. His shoulders heaving, his eyebrows tight. His eyes were glaring at me.

Stagger wasn’t the only one who was out of breath. I was probably more worn out than him. Years of smoking didn’t help either. I was practically hanging off of his coat, my head dropping as a series of hard coughs came out of me.

“I... I’m done,” I wheezed out, “I got nothin’ left in the tank.”

My body was aching in every muscle, my skin was sore from tumbling and defending myself against that blunt blade. More than that, I was both thirsty and hungry. My stomach gave a plaintive groan.

“I can sympathize,” he said, offering a dry swallow as he turned the blade over in his hand and offered me the grip.

I took it, sending the sword back to my multi-tool. Both of our wings disappeared then.

“Any word from Bee?” I glanced up at him, my eyes hopeful.

“Not a peep. C’mon,” he said, avoiding the look.

He turned and headed back towards the edge of the stone clearing, back the way we came up. I followed behind him after a few seconds, watching his naturally confident saunter as he pushed his hands into his pockets.

“So you’re gonna give me the cold shoulder?” I asked.

He didn’t reply.

It was like that the whole way down the valley wall, and the whole drive back towards town. The inside of Stagger’s ball shuttle stank of our sweat and effort. Every time I looked over at him he was staring forward, resolute. I twisted my lips and looked down at my hands in my lap.

My palms burned and my fingers felt fat. Not just from the punishing cold outside, but from the many times I had blocked kicks, punches and even that Atma blade. Two months ago the weapon would have broken every bone in my hands.

“How’d I do?”

I didn’t really care about the answer, I just didn’t want the silence anymore.

“Better. Much better.” He said, nodding his head but not looking at me.

“Think I stand a chance against Gozen Morrow?”

I let a crooked smile lift one side of my face. We both knew the answer to that, but I was hoping to get a laugh out of him.

“I’ve never met her, but from what everyone’s telling me? Nope. Not a chance.”

He didn’t laugh.

“That bad, huh?”

Silence followed.

“Look, about earlier,” I started.

The shuttle slammed to a stop, jarring me in my seat.

Stagger yanked his seatbelt off and was gone. Marching through the small shuttle to the door, storming out of it.

Fuck.

I watched him march into the cold towards town from the side of the windshield.

I sighed and unbuckled my belt.

“Great job, Charlie.”

I pushed myself out of my seat and hurried to the door, the cold air down in the valley blasting my sweaty skin, chilling me to the bone. I had my hoodie in hand, pulling it on over my sweat-soaked T-shirt.

“Stag,” I said, but he just kept walking.

“Stag!” I called again.

Still nothing.

“Stagger Lee, don’t you walk away from me!” I planted my feet, holding my breath.

I was so scared he wouldn’t care. So scared he wouldn’t stop.

He turned and looked at me.

I could breathe again.

I let the air out of my lungs, choking on tears as they started to run down my face.

“I don’t know what you want me to do, Charlie. I can’t keep up with whatever is going on in your head. I don’t expect you to be more than who you are. You don’t want me to help you, you don’t want me to tell you any secrets, you don’t want...” He threw his hands up at his sides in resignation and let them drop.

“You don’t want me.”

“No... you don’t want me, Stag. I’m not a puzzle you can just put back together.”

“Goddammit, Charlie!” Stagger growled, “that’s not how it works! I said it before and I meant it. Broken people don’t get fixed. All you can ever do is find your way back to good, alright? Sometimes life only lets you break even and that’s fine! Not everybody expects you to be perfect. I don’t want perfect! I just...”

I watched him shove his fingers through his wavy hair in frustration.

I bit my lip. He was standing there, staring at me. Like I meant something.

Like I meant everything to him.

“I’m not coming to you,” I said, feigning confidence, shrugging my little shoulders.

Stagger shook his head.

“You gotta be difficult, don’t you?” He smiled and I nodded, smiling back.

“Yup,” I let the last letter of the word pop.

He marched towards me like a cowboy strolling into town. Cool as a midday breeze.

He was feet from me. My heartbeat thundered in my chest, my stomach felt like I’d swallowed a kaleidoscope of butterflies.

When he reached for me, both of our travel icons sent dots of light dancing between us, making us step further apart. They came together to form the face of Chroma.

“Hide. Now!”

Stagger whirled around, his eyes high, looking at the thick cloudline above, darkened by the shadow of the lowest continent in the High Moor above. Several small lights twinkled into existence through the rolling grey.

“We gotta go.”

“What?”

“We gotta go!” He grabbed my arm and started rushing us back to his ball shuttle.

My eyes shot up to those lights as he tugged me stumbling along beside him.

“Come on!” He yelled and we started running. As we approached the side of his shuttle he smashed the door release, shoving me in as it irised open.

“What is it? What’s going on? Stag!” I yelled as Stagger grabbed me by my upper arms.

“NEST!” He yelled back and my eyes shot wide.

We hurried to the front of the small shuttle, hopping into our seats, our travel icons whirling around inside of the cabin. Stagger tapped the air frantically and I turned on HUD mode in my vision to see what he was doing.

He set the ball shuttle to silent running, activated some kind of cloaking mode, and tapped through settings much too quickly for me to follow. Every light in the shuttle turned off, the exterior lights blinking out as well. The ball suddenly shot straight upward as we watched the lights of those NEST ships come into greater focus.

They spiraled down towards the center of Howl Valley, my eyes were wide as I watched them.

“What the fuck is NEST doing here?”

“I dunno. Probably an inspection... maybe a search party. They’ve got no reason to think you’re here.”

“Y’mean other than that big, gaudy fuckin’ statue in the middle of the park?” I said, watching the lights of the convoy of gold and white ball ships coming down in that swirling pattern.

“Oh,” Stagger said, “Nobody told you, huh?”

“Told me what?”

“That’s not the only statue of you out there.”

“In Old Settler’s Place?”

“In the world,” Stagger said, “Kapo, cloak to seven and take us up into the cloudline.”

I looked around.

“Kapo?” But then I saw his travel icon scan the panel in front of me.

“My travel icon,” Stagger confirmed and I nodded.

“That’s a stupid name.”

“Uh-huh, hey Shiny, could you get Charlie a blanket from storage?” he said, staring at me with his lips twisted sarcastically.

My travel icon zipped off to fetch it, likely going to put it in the same place it put my Atma.

I tightened my eyes in irritation.

“Point taken.”

Blanket added to inventory slot 3.

I rolled my eyes as Shiny came back.

“Here you are, Wee Lass.”

“Thanks, Shiny,” I said.

I glared at Stagger as a warm, black blanket materialized above me and fell into my lap. Wrapping the blanket around myself, I curled my lip at him as he smiled back, his face smug.

“Kapo, drop the internal temperature. Take us to 20 degrees.”

My eyes went wide as the internal ventilation systems on the shuttle opened. Gusts of freezing cold air started pouring into the ball shuttle, washing over me and turning my breath into puffy, vague clouds.

“H-holy fuck!” I hissed, starting to shiver.

“They’ll be using heat scanners,” he said, “Kapo, grab me a blanket too.” His matte black cube with the red, blinking eye headed off to retrieve another blanket.

“Alright, Malcolm. On my way.” Kapo said in a motherly, female voice.

I looked at it, then at Stagger.

He didn’t look back.

“Malcolm?”

“Kapo, HUD only mode,” he said, grabbing his travel icon, making it disappear in his palm after it dropped another black blanket into his lap.

“Shiny, HUD only mode,” I repeated the gesture, figuring it was important.

“They’ll be scanning for any sign of heat or electrical signal. Even connectivity. We’re going to have to go dark,” He said, our speed slowing as we moved upward.

“We’re still moving though.”

“Uh-huh. We’re just trying to crest the gravity well above the cloudline. That way we can cut the engines and ride zero gravity till they’re gone.”

A moment later, I felt us hover, then stop.

Stagger proceeded to cut off all the power, ticking down every switch above him until we sat in perfect, complete silence.

“Not sure how long we’re gonna be here,” he said, tugging his blanket around himself tighter.

“We’re gonna freeze to death up here,” I said, my teeth chattering.

“We’ll be fine. 20 is cold but not life-threatening. We’re just gonna be uncomfortable for a while until we figure out what’s happening downstairs.”

I nodded, my eyes studying him in the late evening light through the heavy cloud bodies that had come rolling in as the sun disappeared. The days seemed to be a lot shorter this far down, but it was mostly because the light from the sun generally didn’t make it as far. They called it the early night instead of the early evening.

“So when were you plannin’ on telling me your name was Malcolm, Malcolm?”

“Leave it alone, Charlie.” He said, leaning back in his seat.

“No, no, no. Everybody wants to tear my life apart and analyze the pieces, it’s my turn. What’s up with Malcolm, Malcolm?”

“Mal,” Stagger corrected me.

“Mal.”

“Stop.”

“No.”

“Stop, please,” he said, forcing a kind of saccharine politeness.

“No. Thank you. Mal,” I said.

He sighed, “My name is Stagger.”

“That’s not what Ms. Kapo says, Mal.”

“Malcolm Stagger Lee.”

“Okay, Malcolm Stagger Lee.”

“The third.”

“The third,” I repeated, then I squinted, “Wait, the third? Christ, nobody could think of anything else?”

“I’m not talking about this. Can we just sit here and enjoy silence? I like silence. Let’s do silence,” Stagger said, his voice tapering down to a whisper as he brought his legs into his chair, turning sideways to curl up in his blanket. “Wake me up when they take off.”

“Really?!” I shouted, reaching over the arm of my chair and yanking the bit of blanket he pulled over his head down.

“Alright!” Stagger said, huffing a breath as he sat back forward again. “Yes. The third. As in the same name as my dad and his dad.”

“Why didn’t you tell me your real name?”

“I did tell you my real name. Stagger is my name, isn’t it?”

“Well, I don’t know. All these secrets popping out now, I don’t know what to believe.”

“You’re the one that said you didn’t want to hear any secrets.”

“Okay,” I nodded, “fine. Tell me why you don’t go by Malcolm.”

“Because my dad went by Malcolm and it would have been confusing. Not only that, I don’t like hearing his name much.”

“Guess I’m not the only one with daddy issues.”

“My parents are dead. Yours hate your guts, there’s a difference.” He said, bundling back up and curling up in his chair.

“Ouch. You know you just cut me right? It hurts when you do that,” I rubbed a fake wound.

“Boo-hoo.” He shot back, rolling his eyes.

“Dead or won’t talk to you... Not seein’ them is the same thing after a while, right? For what it’s worth, I’m sorry. You never really told me much about ‘em. I just hope you made good memories with ’em instead of bad like the dummy sittin’ next to you.”

I looked at him again.

He didn’t look back.

“I know you’re staring at me,” Stagger said and I smiled.

“Got anything else to do up here besides look at you?”

Stagger sat up, reached down beside his seat and tossed something at me. I caught it purely out of surprise.

It was a Rubix cube.

“Fine. Be an asshole.” I threw it at his face.

Hard.

He leaned his head back and let it smash against the side of the ball shuttle wall. Pieces of it skittered down onto the floor.

“You owe me a Rubix cube.”

“Suck my dick.”

“Wait, you have a dick?” Stagger asked, sarcasm rich in his voice. He looked over at me, horrified, “Okay, that’s a little rough. I don’t know if I can...”

I burst into laughter.

“What, you got a problem with transexuals? What if I’m a chick with a dick who was born a man? Then what?”

“Then I’ve been improperly using your pronouns?” Stagger asked, covering his mouth with a gasp.

“Shut up.” I laughed, “you’ve been improperly stayin’ off my nerves.”

Stagger smiled, “Constantly.”

“Yeah, no shit.”

“Do you really have a dick though?” Stagger asked, his tone serious.

“Wha- No!” I smiled, “why? Would that change anything?”

“I guess if I think about it, not really,” Stag shrugged. “How does that even work? Do you paper, scissors, rock it for who’s on the pitcher’s mound every Saturday?”

“No, I’d just make you my bitch,” I said, my tongue slipping out at him.

Stagger laughed again, “See? Why’s it gotta be all aggressive?” He pointed at me.

“Alright, fine. I’d go balls deep on you and be really nice about it.”

We both laughed hard.

“That’s better. You gotta ease me into it, y’know? Wine and dine me a little. Kiss me in the ear or something.” Stagger said.

“Oh, alright,” I smiled, “Malcolm.”

“Jesus!” Stag said, rolling his eyes, throwing his hands up in exasperation.

“You thought I was gonna just forget like that? C’mon! What is it, Stag, Daddy issues? Mommy issues? Did he do things to you?” I said, my eyes wide.

“What!? No! Ew!” Stagger curled his lip at me, his nose wrinkling.

“Do I need to get a teddy bear and ask you to show me on the doll where he touched you?”

“What the hell, Charlie!” Stag said, hiding a smile.

“Maybe we can call that one guy from that news show that goes around catching kid-touchers in the act and outs ’em on TV.”

“Chris Hansen, and no, no, none of that. My parents were freedom fighters in the New Liberty Republic.”

“Those guys from Boreasland?”

“Yeah,” he nodded, “they were some of the first to stand up to NEST during the celestial uprising. You hear people joke about it nowadays but things were really heated back then. See, Perun wasn’t the only god that made celestials, and once they got made the celestials all wanted to make lesser celestials, then the whole thing got out of hand real quick. Everybody was trying to find their little kingdom to rule. Everybody wanted to be a god-king or something. Perun showed the world that even Brahma could die. After that, he ended up having to watch his own back. For a long time, there was just too many gods.”

“Looks like he did a bang-up fuckin’ job. Everybody talks about that guy like they’re afraid to say his name. Who is he, Lord Voldemort?”

“Who?”

“The bad guy fr-... nevermind.”

“Whatever. Look, it’s easy for you to say, you’ve never seen his power first hand.”

“That bad, huh?”

“Worse,” Stagger nodded, “My dad used to tell me back when he had the Heart Fire he would snap his fingers and entire cities would disappear into ash. The heat from the explosion would evaporate the water out of your body if you were too close to the impact zone. Turn you into a pile of salt.”

“Holy shit... Was he who killed your parents?”

“No. A guy named Bill took my parents from me.” Stagger’s eyes went back out the window.

“Bill? Just Bill?” I asked.

“His last name was Lyons. Y’know. Brother of Apollyon.”

“Paul Lyons has a brother!?” I yelled, shooting upright in my chair.

“Had.”

“Holy fuck. You killed Paul’s brother!?”

“Billy Lyons owed me a debt he couldn’t afford to pay. I collected. It’s that simple.”

We sat silently in that dark ball shuttle watching our breath cloud in the air. I pulled my blanket back around me, looking over at Stagger’s hand on his armrest. I wanted to hold it.

“I’m sorry about your parents, Mal.”

“Don’t worry about it. Listen,” Stag said, looking over at me. “I think we should really have that talk now.”

I shook my head, “No. We shouldn’t. I don’t do secrets. Whatever it is, I don’t need to know.”

“Yes, you do.”

“No, I don’t, Stag. Alright? Look, we’re not together. You don’t owe me shit, just drop it, okay? We start tellin’ secrets and suddenly we start makin’ goo-goo eyes and shit just gets complicated. I can’t take that right now.”

“But you just heard a secret.”

“Your name? C’mon, man. That’s not a secret. It’s a name. So what, show goes on.”

“You know what I’m talking about.”

“What was your mom’s name?” I turned to look at him.

“Don’t change the subject.”

“I don’t know what you’re talkin’ about, Stag.”

“Really?” He asked and I turned away from him.

“Really.”

“Kathrine Poloma Lee.” He said after a while.

“Kapo,” I said back, my voice small, suddenly feeling like a dirtbag.

“Yeah...”

We both let the silence alone for a while.

“I don’t think it’s a stupid name anymore. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have pushed.”

“Thank you. It’s fine.” He said, his voice genuine as another hanging silence took over.

“Do you have anything to eat in here?” I asked.

“Yeah, there’s,” he grunted, turning around and pointing over his seat, “in the storage compartments down there. Bottom ones, in the floor. There’s some military ration kits.”

I thought about sending my icon to go get them but I felt like stretching my legs a little. I got up with my blanket and headed over to the floor compartments, sitting on my heels. Lifting out one of the black plastic boxes from under the floor panels I could see it had the NEST logo on the front of it. I looked up at the back of Stag’s chair.

“Jeez, and I thought I used to steal a lot of shit. You’ve got like six of these things down here.”

“Yep,” he said, turning his chair around.

“What’s the shelf life on this shit?”

“Five years or so.”

“Jesus, what’s in it?”

A few moments later, Stagger and I were making our way through random ready to eat meals, picking out the desserts and grading them for flavor. We were both thankful for the chemical heat in the rations. Warm food made a difference at twenty degrees. I was about halfway through a blackberry cobbler and commenting on how soggy the crust was when he looked over at me.

“So listen, earlier on the road...” He started.

“I don’t know what I was thinking, Stag. Just drop it.”

“Drop it?” He said, staring at me.

“Yeah, drop it.” I refused to meet his eyes.

“I can’t even begin to keep up with you. Even your mixed signals have mixed signals.”

“Look, how many times do you want me to say this, alright? I’m fucked up, Stag!” I frowned at him.

“Everybody’s fucked up, don’t give me that shit. It’s like one minute you pull me in the next minute you push me out. I’m not a god damn yo-yo!”

“Yeah, well, that’s how it is, alright? Sometimes I forget and think for just one little second that I can have the same things everybody else can.”

“And why can’t you?”

“Because the very next second, the first thing that pops into my mind is how I don’t deserve it. And then I get confused. And then I just...”

“You just what?”

“I just wanna get high. Alright? There.” I threw my spoon down.

The silence between us almost hurt. It went on way too long. I opened my mouth to say something, but Stagger just lifted his hand to stop me.

“It’s alright, Charlie.”

“Look, I’m sorry. I wish I could get over my shit and just be normal. I just need you to understand, Stag.” He wouldn’t look at me. “Mal.”

He put those hazel eyes on me and I felt them like a punch. I wanted to shrink away from them.

“It’s okay, Charlie.”

“No, it’s really not. You don’t deserve the way I...”

My life was saved by a message that flashed in my vision via the HUD.

Back in 5 days. - Bijou

Stag must have seen it too, he lifted his head to look at the message as well.

“I guess Chroma told her we can’t take any calls,” Stag said, looking through the clearing clouds at Howl Valley below.

We still hadn’t seen any lights from Ball Ships taking off. We saw plenty of shuttles scuttling about in the streets below. This high up they were hard to make out but since apparently they had shut half the city down, it was made easier by the fact that the entertainment district’s lights were off.

“I noticed some of these things are bigger than others. That intentional or is it just people that want to spend more money?” I asked, indicating the ball shuttle.

“Yeah. ball ships and ball shuttles. The smaller ones like this one are just for local stuff. Maybe a hop to a nearby island, but they’re no good in the distance. Not big enough, not enough speed and the Radiant Stone reserve isn’t as big. They only hold smaller stones. Anyway, the really big ones, the ships. They can go a lot farther, but they tend to be inconvenient around town.”

“Like Bijou’s,” I nodded.

“Yeah. We use Bijou’s ship to travel. We’ll probably be taking her’s to the middle of the High Moor. ball ship, ball shuttle. Easy enough. Then there are Fat Birds.”

“Fat Birds?” I screwed my lip up.

“Yeah, like motorcycles on earth. They’ve only got one big wheel though. They’re round like shuttles. Really fast, good for getting around on an island. They can fly in short bursts too.”

“Oh, cool. I want a Fat Bird,” I said.

“You want everything,” Stag laughed.

“Yeah? So what. How far up are we goin’?”

“Elevation level three, maybe four depending on where the Farfygian Line is now. I’d check the map, but it doesn’t really matter.”

“Farfygian Line?”

“Thickest cloudline. The rough one with all the turbulence. Bijou likes to go speeding through it like a mad woman.”

I thought back to our first trip down here when I thought Bijou wanted to beat my ass instead of bite it.

“Oh, gotcha... five days, huh? I guess they figured out what they’re making for me. Jeez, that’s cutting it close.”

“I guess so. Looks like we’ve just about run out of time. You gonna be ready for this?”

“I’m gonna have to be, Stag. We got no choice. Robin’s life is on the line and I still don’t know what Orcus’ game plan is,’’ I recovered my spoon and dug it into my cobbler.”God knows he’s certainly not sittin’ down enjoying ziplock cobbler.”

“Probably not.” Stag shook his head, his voice trailing off.

I could feel him staring at me and it made me look up at him from another gloopy mouthful of liquid pie.

“What?” I asked.

“You should prepare yourself for bad news.”

I had been thinking about that since I got here. The fact that I’d probably gotten Robin killed.

“Yeah... God, I don’t know what I’m gonna do if I find out I got another sister killed.”

My eyes started to burn at that thought.

Stagger lifted both hands and rubbed his face.

“I can handle it.” I lied. “Even if I can’t, I don’t have a choice. If he killed my sister...”

I shook my head.

“Orcus is no joke, Charlie. He’s dangerous. The Underworld is probably just as dangerous. Not to mention what we’re about to face at Hymeris’ place.” He looked at me and I looked away.

“I’ll do what I have to. I’m getting my sister back. If I can,” I said.

“He’s more than a notion. He’d have to be to rule the Underworld. He’s not like those two valkyrie you fought.”

“Fought? More like got kicked around by,” I scoffed, “I just slammed into them with style.”

When I looked back he was still staring.

“What did you say?” He asked.

“I said I got my ass handed to me.”

“After that.”

“I was just sayin’ that all I really did was slammed into them a lot. Bout the only time I even hit them, really.”

“I just thought of something.” He said, sitting up, his eyes moving around quickly.

“What?”

“I know how to fix you.”

“Fix me? Look, I told you, I can’t-”

“No, that’s not what I’m talking about.”

“What, then?” I asked, my lip curling.

“You ever see a wrecking ball up close?”

I gave him a crooked little smile, catching on.

“Yup,” I said, letting the last letter of the word pop.