It’s Prison, Bitch

That night my sleep just sucked.

I couldn’t. I just laid there, hating myself for all of my stupid decisions. This was kind of a trend, I know, but… Damn.

How can one person fuck up life so bad? Everything just went so fast.

It all just span out of control so quick. You make a decision, you think, ‘come on, it’s not that bad is it?’

Then it just gets worse… and worse… and worse…

Then you’re getting beat up in the worst women’s correctional facility in the country.

It made me feel for the women locked up in the Russian one.

God damn, if I was getting fucked up like it was my job, what must they be going through?

I shook my head at that thought, laying on my simple, thin mattress.

Lucy told me my room would get cooler. I’d get more comfortable. All of us had to collect our own things. The world was full of it after all. Not like anybody was coming back to the quarantined zone to look.

Forget about food though, that was all picked clean by scavengers. They left the shit that wouldn’t sell though. Mass produced crap nobody wanted anymore. Barely anyone needed.

You’d be surprised how few TVs a settlement needs when you're all sharing the same 72 DVDs.

There was power though.

Through a whole network of means. They figured that part out at least. Not before like 25% of the world’s population fucked off and died, but what can you do, right?

This was the aftermath. This was government and law after government and law fell apart.

And it was getting worse and worse every day. Hell, parts of the world had turned into the Old West.

Literally.

But then the disturbing thought hit me…

None of that mattered to me anymore.

I wasn’t Cabriella Spencer.

I was Cabbie.

Convict. Cutie. Punch Catcher.

Usually with my face…

I’d never been beat up in my life. Came close a few times. Never got overly manhandled. Came close a few times.

It was the end of the world. Of course people made plays for my butt.

But I run fast.

Wasn’t outrunning local law though.

I lifted my head off my pillow-less mattress and looked down my flat front save for the peaks of my breasts.

Even that movement filled my ears with the familiar creak of latex.

Th ridges of my abs, down to my pussy shining in front of me.

The view I’d see for the rest of my life when I looked down.

Felt like I’d never see my actual body again. I felt like an alien creature had seized control of me and refused to stop giving every inch of my body an alien hug.

I mean hey… I might get out right?

One day…

I sighed.

Yeah right.

“Psst.”

I heard the hiss and jumped a little.

Not a lot, just… it was odd. I knew I wasn’t alone in a common room of four. Two above. One below, opposite me but…

Christ it had to be like two in the morning I…

“Hey!” The voice hissed again.

I lifted my head, looking upside down across from me.

Click.

Her lamp came on, illuminating her cell.

Wow, it looked cool over there.

Swan Yi waved me over.

I felt a nervousness wobble in my stomach. Hoped to God my face didn’t do that flushing thing it always did when I met new people. Like… really met them. One on one I mean.

My suit creaked as I spun on my smooth butt to set my feet on the floor.

“Cabbie. C’mere,” She said, a bit louder.

I could hear the smile in her tone, looking her way again to confirm it before I got up and made my way over there.

I felt self-conscious knowing she could see every curve of my body, reaching across my middle to hug my elbow with a hand as I stepped up to her cell door.

Swan Yi was sitting in a small armchair beside her bed. She had a small television on an narrow shelf opposite her. Another stick-out shelf from the wall with a DVD player on it.

I was instantly jealous.

There was a shelf above with what looked like a ton of anime on it. She was even watching one though, heaven help me if I knew which one.

I never got cool shit like that.

I spent my whole life on the run.

“You can come in,” she said, patting her bed with a foot as she sat across her armchair sideways.

She had a thicker mattress than mine. I appreciated it when I walked over and sat down. Even if I felt self-conscious again about the way my latex suit creaked.

She breathed a little laugh.

“You get used to it.”

“Hn?” I said, not sure what she meant as my eyebrow tipped up.

“The sound.” She gestured at herself and flapped one of her arms like a chicken, issuing several creaky, squeaky squawks.

I smiled a little.

“Oh… yeah…” I looked around more. At the throw carpet she had.

Shaggy and bright yellow.

She had candles on little shelf islands, a couple hand made boxes full of things she’d found and collected. Tiny bookshelf full of Japanese comics. Manga?

I dunno. I saw some videos in shelters that had YouTube downloads.

Sad our entire civilization boiled down to found footage and hard drives full of meme culture.

She even had magazine posters on her wall. Articles from a time long passed reflecting the light of the TV, her candles and her lamp on dim glow.

“Your room is cool,” I said, dropping my blue eyes on her.

She lit another candle with a box of matches and nodded.

“Thanks. Yours’ll be one day. We kinda all find our likes and dislikes in the wasteland.”

“Yeah? I don’t think I’m gonna find bacon out there anywhere.”

We both laughed at that.

In the only way you could in our situation.

With brutal acceptance.

“Too true. I dunno… you get locked up for long enough and you just kinda think of all of that before stuff as…”

“Before stuff,” I nodded.

“Yeah,” she offered after a moment, “Sorry I was mean to you earlier. New Girlie and all.”

“Nah… I get it… I’m used to getting into trouble with people anyway. Kinda my thing.”

“Everybody says that in The Irish."

I smiled, “yeah?”

“Let’s be real… we’re all pieces of shit if we’re here,” Swan shrugged.

“Yeah… I might convince myself one day it’s bad luck though.”

“Maybe it was? Does it matter?”

I shook my head, “No… I’m here now.”

“Egg. Zact. Lee.” She enunciated with a boyish chuckle, “You’re really pretty…”

“Huh?” My face flushed. I knew it. “Me? N- … n—pcchhh.. no…” I said like an absolute fucking dork and hated myself.

She laughed a little.

“No, really. You should let me do your face,” she said, reaching down beside her armchair and pulling up a box.

When she cracked it open, unlatching both of its clasps, I realized it was a fishing tackle box.

And as she opened it and branched it’s inner shelves out, I saw it was full of makeup. Of every kind.

“Oh! Oh… h— hey…” My eyes went wide, “I’m not really that kinda… girl, I…”

Swan Yi smiled, “I knew it…”

“Knew what?”

“You’ve got Tomboy energy,” she nodded matter-of-factly.

“Tomboy energy?”

“Yeah, you know… Boy girl, girl boy, really hot girl boy, girl situation?”

“What?” I tilted my head like a puppy.

“You ever seen your face with makeup on?”

“No…” I shook my head, my eyes searched her face.

“Then you should say yes.”

“Why?” I asked.

“Because it’s prison, Bitch. What else you gonna do?”

We both laughed.

I liked her voice. It was like mine. A little raspy. A little boyish. It cracked apart in all the right places.

Like when we were laughing.

It felt like having a friend… maybe?

I dunno. I never had one.

Swan Yi leaned forward with her tackle box.

“Weellll?”

I looked her in her dark chocolate eyes.

They were so mysterious and pretty in her candle light.

“…S… sure.” I said finally, nodding all nerd-girl awkward while I searched her eyes with my own.

“Perfect! You will love it! You are going to look fab-yew-luss!” She sang.

“Oh my God… Yeah right. More like a raggamuffin,” I chuckled out.

She almost made me forget I was locked up doing hard time.

All of them did really. Lucy, Forest.

It felt like the only peace somebody like me was ever going to get.

Why did I have to go to prison to feel… that?

Like I belonged anywhere.

God that’s dark.

I sat up straighter as she set the box beside me and shimmied her little armchair closer, my body still muted by the latex, squeezing and constricting my frame.

For the first time I took an easy breath. Maybe even for the first time in my life.

“No, you’re gonna look like a perfect little doll,” Swan Yi said quietly as she started concentrating, cleaning my face with what smelled like a strong chemical swab.

It burned my nose when I accidentally sniffed it trying to sample that odd smell again. I huffed it out and she laughed.

“It’s an alcohol rub, silly. Yeah, it burns,” She said, eyes wide, pulling a funny face at me.

I nodded, biting my lip as she went back to scrubbing my freckles.

It felt so weird sitting that close to her. Our eyes flirting back and forth in the dim light as she applied layers to my face.

I felt so… seen…

I’d never been this close to someone I was attracted to other than the day I got arrested.

This was different though.

I was already in jail.

It couldn’t get any worse.

But something about having her pay attention to me. Having someone treat me like more than just something they wanted to grab or shoo off. More than just a punching bag like today…

For the first time in my life I felt kinda normal.

“So what’s your take so far?” She asked.

“About what?” I asked, blinking a few times out of my thoughts.

“About The Irish.”

“Oh… well. At first I thought it was gonna be all bad. Not gonna lie, the first few hours were rough.”

“Yeah… looks like you got roughed up pretty good. Who was your CO?”

“CO?”

“Commanding Officer.”

“Oh. Huxtable.”

Oh… shit… yeah. She really likes redheads.”

“That was her liking me? Guess I better never piss her off. She really fucked me up…” I whined.

Swan Yi chuckled. “Yeah, I get how you feel. I was lucky. I escaped that bullet.”

“She didn’t beat you up?”

“No… My daddy was too money’d up before he died. My family’s the type to pay for kind treatment. Or kinder treatment.”

“Oh, right…” I didn’t press.

I’d heard the vague idea that rich people barely suffered as much as poor people. Didn’t know if it was true… I only ever knew survivors.

“Your family couldn’t stop you from coming here?” I asked.

“They didn’t want to,” Swan said with a sigh and I understood.

“Yeah… not that many people want me around either,” I nodded. “I can relate.”

“Anyway… all done… wanna have a look? You really do look like Lucille Ball.”

I smiled a little, nodding.

But then it struck me as weird.

Lucille Ball. I glanced up at her face, then watched her fetch the something.

Was it just a coincidence people always say that?”

She lifted a mirror in front of my face she’d fetched from her little dresser and I stared at it.

I couldn’t believe what was looking back at me.

She tapped her lamp brighter to overwhelm the candle light and I could see myself.

Big blue eyes twinkling. Cheeks flushed with rouge. My lips perfectly red.

I looked like a 1950s movie star…

“Oh my god, I’m… pretty?…” I marveled at it.

I always just thought people were desperate in the apocalypse. It was almost heartbreaking to realize my face could look like that.

“You’re a pin-up babe…” Swan Yi whispered, smiling.

“I… can’t believe that’s me,” I said through a smile.

There was something gorgeous about it. About me. Even though it was accented with an accidental hint of the perverse.

I was a magazine cover pin-up girl in a latex suit. That kinda stung a bit to think about, but beyond that… it was kind of nice to know at least something about me was… beautiful.

I kinda wanted to cry.

Not just at what I saw, but what I wasted.

I was in here. Not having someone fawn over my face and appreciate me.

I handed the mirror back and tried to hide my sadness at that.

“Do you like it?” She asked me with a big smile.

“Yeah,” I nodded. “Didn’t know I cleaned up so well.”

“I mean, Huxtable’s not obsessed with you for nothing.”

“…hn?” I asked, “Obsessed with me? What does that mean?”

But then Swan Yi leaned forward, brushing my wavy hair back with her fingers.

The intimacy unsettled me.

I didn’t like people touching me.

I recoiled a little.

“Aa—aahnn!” I clenched my teeth as her fingers clutched a handful of my hair.

My eyes went wide as she stood, glaring down at me, forcing my back to arch.

She pulled my red strands tighter, straining my neck and my hand shot up to grab her wrist.

“Ah—ooww… NNNhn!” She tugged hard, getting my attention, making my voice blast apart in crackly pieces.

Then she leaned in and whispered in my right ear.

“The same way I am, Cutie…”

“What?” I exhaled softly.

I tried to push back and away from her but her free hand lifted.

I saw it. Glinting.

“Aggression detected,” Warden said in both of our heads.

I breathed a sigh of relief.

“Huxtable. CO. Override access Alpha Charlie Six Six Seven.”

My eyes shot wider. Doom fell into my stomach as she wrapped that length of shiny silk around my neck.

I tried to call out but her hand snapped over my mouth.

“I have her access code for a reason, Red,” She reminded me.

Her dark eyes stared at me. I stared back. Helpless.

Absolutely powerless.

“I needed a new toy… my last one didn’t make it.”

Suddenly my empty cell snapped to mind.

The toothpaste left on the walls.

Her last cell mate.

“Mmn!” I muffled against her hand in panic.

“Shhhhh… you’re mine now.”

I tried to shake my head as she whispered those words.

Then her hands slowly slipped down, pulling that length of silk snug with her fingers.

“No… please… Swan Ycck…cck…,” I whispered as the silk got tighter, cutting off my air.

This couldn’t be real.

Huxtable set me up.

“It’s prison, Bitch…” She said, lowering me down to lay on her bed.

God I hated being a coward.

All I could remember was Huxtable mercilessly punching my face around.

Swan Yi’s eyes intimidated me as I looked up at them. At the hungry, predatory intention.

She feasted on my breathlessness, getting me high as a kite on my own suffering.

I couldn’t do anything but let her.

She snatched the silk tight around my neck so hard my body spasmed.

I felt tears start to wet my eyes, staring up at her through the haze of them.

All I could remember was the doom.

The hopelessness.

Her words as I looked up at her sick, twisted enjoyment.

“Mmn, yeah… Squirm for me you sexy little blue eyed bitch…”

And I did.

I writhed on her mink blanket. A slow moving effigy to the fetish she and Huxtable liked best.

“Fuck, I love redheads…” Her voice sizzled with vocal fry as my lights went out, “you better not tell a soul.”

She let the silk loose and I gasped a breath.

“Shhhh…” She said, looking me almost motherly in the eyes as she slowly pulled the silk tight again.

“No… No, no, nnngggkkk…” Fuck. My hands went up to grab her wrists.

She didn’t care.

Swan Yi made me her prison bitch.

And I writhed on her bed, latex creaking and slowly complaining as my body desperately, quietly fought for my life, my heels digging into her bed, thighs flexing, abs tight.

“Mmn, yeah… suffer, Baby Doll,” she whispered.

And I was such a coward I let her. Every story I’d ever heard about fighting back in prison went right out of my head staring into those eyes.

She was a monster.

How was I supposed to survive five years with this maniac…?

The last thing I remember was reaching up. My arm felt like it weighed a ton.

My eyelids were six-hundred pounds.

She leaned forward and kissed me goodnight.

I felt my hand drop onto her bed.