Peel

I woke up hard.

Really, really hard. Like, the ugly way.

A snort, snore. Eyes wide. Suddenly alert. Consciousness returning to the living.

My pretty eyes blinkity blinked about as the illusion reassembled for me.

I was somewhere.

I smelled what fear smelled like.

Mandarin? Orange? Tangerine?

A twist of citrus… That’s what it smelled like.

Fear smelled like a twist of citrus.

I snapped up. At attention, not really caring where I was, I just knew I needed to be alert when I smelled it.

Something about pain. That smell.

Pavlovian.

I was awake-awake. Awake too fast to be awake so it all made no sense. I was in a comfortable seat, in a… vehicle?

A transport?

A transport vehicle?

Yeah. That was space outside the window.

No. Not space.

Atmosphere.

Up there was space.

I could look up and see it through the window shapes above me.

Cool trapezoid things. You know. The ones that all connected to make a ceiling.

Above us.

Wait, who the...

My brain. Was not. Fucking. Functioning.

We were descending.

Reality started to stitch itself back together.

“I’m Uno.” I said with a silly smile, looking at him.

“I’m aware.” Dvar said, sitting across from me. Lounging like an ethereal cat. Comfortably leaning back, with an elbow on the seat. Casually swiping away on his smartphone as he enjoyed the fact that the seats reclined all the way back.

Like he didn’t just back hand me out of my body.

Like he didn’t just rob me of a space of time I would never get back.

It was kinda funny.

“So you don’t care or anything, huh? You’re just the cool guy who buys people and smacks people up. That you?”

“That’s me.” He responded cooly. Like I didn’t matter.

I hated that I liked that.

Ignore me more please, Daddy. I felt at home in it.

Why was I like this?

Course I’d never call this guy Daddy. Outside of my head.

Inside, I could make all the jokes I want.

Bitch.

God it was terrible to be from a toxic community ofoverachieving emotional terrorists.

What would my mother say?

Oh yeah.

Ain’t got one.

“That’s. You.” I agreed. Nodding precisely.

Still smiling. But I pointed at him menacingly.

“Listen. Pretty Boy… If you’re gonna scold me or something. Could you skip ahead to that part?” He asked, eyebrows lifting behind his sunglasses. “Otherwise, I’m readin’ the news, Bud.”

“How’d you get a smart phone?”

“How’d you get the right to ask me questions?”

“What?”

“I thought I already told you once.”

I tilted my head, eyes tightening. “Right… that’s what we’re doing. Okay.” I nodded.

“You like digging holes?”

“Nope.”

“No?”

“Nope. As in nope. I’m not doing this with you.” I shook my head.

I watched a movie screen skip two frames.

Swear to god.

He snapped across the space between us preternaturally. His hand had my face before I could object.

“Gimme that fuckin’ face,” He quietly snarled like the devil in a court room, snatching me to meet him half way. Pulling me in close.

My eyes were big and pretty as the glow slowly left them.

Diminishing as we left the safety of Meridian’s Call Tower.

Sure nothing in the wide galaxy was lethal. Nothing in the real was either for that matter.

Not anymore.

The powers that existed outside still needed resources from the limitless source inside, so they buckled.

Gun powder? Outlawed.

Knives and stabbing weapons? Outlawed.

No one even manufactured it anymore. The few that did set the kind of prices most people in a broken world couldn’t afford.

Let me tell you something:

Gun control wasn’t laws. It was receipts.

You really think twice about shooting a motherfucker when the bullet costs five thousand dollars.

So no. Nothing in the world, really, was lethal.

Except people.

I was alone on a tight little space pod with an animal. And I had only two certainties.

If I fought him back I forfeited his sale… With The Silence, all sales were final.

They got rid of bad inventory.

No deposit, no return.

My only chance of survival was looking me in the eyes like he wanted to kill me.

And he spoke to me calmly.

I was terrified but somehow his calm soothed my brain.

“When I tell you to shut up in public… You shut the fuck up… I don’t care if you run that pretty little mouth of yours in private. That’s on my time. Sometimes I like it,” He smiled.

His grip on my face released. He patted my cheek.

My heart was thundering in my chest.

I was horny?

I. Am. Confused.

My eyes flicked right…

I wasn’t really sure what he wanted me to say.

They ticked back to his stare.

He was waiting.

“Give me some sign that you’re paying attention.” His voice scared the shit out of me and I jumped hard.

“Yeah… Yeahd-b.. Yeah.” I nodded. Quickly. “Yeah, I hear you.”

I blinked. My eyes retreated.

How the fuck could anybody keep looking this dude in those intense eyes?

“Good.” He said curtly, and slunk back down in his seat slowly, like a plant setting its roots.

Then he just… went back to swiping at his phone.

Chill as a beagle.

What the fuck was this shit?

I settled back down into my seat. Trying to ignore the sting on my face in the shape of his hand. I exercised my mouth a little. Stretching my jaw, trying to get it to go away.

“Why are you doing that?” He said through a brief chuckle.

“Fuck you.” I bitched at him, rubbing at my face. “You grabbed me too hard.”

“Cry about it.”

“Whatever. You big dumb truck. All you big guys are so fuckin’ handsy.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Dvar said. “Just remember what I said. You speak out of turn again in public…” But he stopped, then pointed, “Look.”

His eyes snapped onto me and I cooled my vibe, looking out of the window where he pointed as the platform world of Thread neared. I turned my eyes back to him.

“I get it.” I said back after a fashion, turning my attention back to him.

“You’re here to serve a purpose.” He reminded me and I rolled my eyes.

“I wouldn’t know. You knocked me the fuck out before you could finish explaining ‘my purpose’.” I said, throwing my last two words in air quotes while I mimicked his deep, quiet tone with them.

“Funny,” Dvar said, pointing at me with a finger, genuinely crediting me the laugh and not actually laughing. “But seriously, shut up before I make you walk home.”

I looked out of the window.

We were still in the air.

“Ha. Ha.” I sarcastically responded. I even threw in a bored clap.

His eyes flicked up over his sunglasses. “I’m not laughing.”

Then I stopped.

Right. Yakuza.

He really would.

I lowered my hands and shut up.

The rest of the descent went silently. And uncomfortably.

Seems Dvar felt the need to pay me back by removing his sunglasses… Leering at me.

Every time I looked back in his direction he had his eyes on me like food.

I felt the craft set down, my eyes following the landscape as it drew closer, memorizing the shape of it. My eyes ticking about. Ticks, tocking as I watched the expanse of Thread Transfer Station grow in front of me and then become our surroundings.

We started our descent down toward a landing pad on the inside of its grounds, but even still I knew we were in for a longer taxi ride in. We were one of many, touching down as the round landing pads then began their game of musical chairs. My attention shifted towards the big transfer station. It was a massive sea shell-shaped Hangar structure with a huge control tower to one side. My eyes ping-ponged about from detail to detail, from sign to sign.

It was honestly overstimulating. Too much too quickly.

“Rampancy. Hall mark of the solos.”

“Solos?”

“They never tell you guys. No real need. The prototypes. They use prototype people for those. That’s why all the Ghosts used to look the same? They all looked like Mido.”

“Yeah, then they started doing unique orders.” I said, gesturing at myself.

“Berchinald wanted a son for legacy. But he liked having daughters. That’s why you’re his most beautiful one.” Dvar said.

It wasn’t a compliment.

Least not one he was gonna get me to enjoy any time soon.

Sitting up in his seat and setting his phone aside, he went on. “Does it make him evil for cloning his daughter though?” He asked, tone skewing high at the end.

“Little devious. I give you that.” I nodded.

“Pretty fucked up.” He nodded. “But you know how these moneyed up people go. After a while they think they can buy their own moral gray area. They don’t think twice about consequences as their scheming and self-serving grow. They just expand the moral gray area.”

I expected a lot of things from a big moose like him.

Violence. Yeah. Check. At this point I didn’t know when or how… or even why.

But I didn’t expect intelligence. I didn’t expect… well. He was Mido’s friend.

“By the way. Mido is a terrible fucking friend.” I pointed out.

“Oh, you noticed. Yeah. He’s like that with everybody.”

“I thought it was just a me thing.” I said, “What’s rampancy?”

“That thing your eyes do. Ghosts and Hunters especially. It’s engineered autism. Really more like hyper-awareness. It’s a fault of prototype clones built on someone else’s DNA instead of random rolling it out of the soup. Kind of an advantage if it’s used properly.”

“You callin’ me special needs?”

“No. I wouldn’t call you special needs. Just irritating sometimes.” He shot back quickly.

“Hey!” I bitched.

“You are pretty irritating.” Dvar said. “Look.” Before I could respond. “I don’t want you getting too comfortable. You understand? We’re not friends.” His hand reached out.

He couldn’t reach me.

“Come. Here.” He said, his hand cupping into the shape of my neck.

I glared at him.

“Come here. Right now."

“Why?”

He didn’t respond. He just stared at me.

I wanted to say something back… I wanted to protest. My mouth opened a few times to try a few ideas at defiance but nothing came out.

He tilted his head, hair falling to one side.

That brutal, handsome bastard.

My lip half curled. Every part of me tried to fight it. My mouth trembled, not with fear but with a thousand protests that all knew where they would land.

Nowhere.

I wanted to yell at him. I wanted to scream and kick him.

“Yeah… whatever.” I exhaled, sliding off of the seat and leaning forward.

Into the fucking choke.

“NNghkk…”

I felt his fingers clench.

I felt my lip curl on its own.

My teeth clenched.

I felt his fingers clench tighter.

I refused to look him in the eyes.

Blood felt like it was rushing to my head. My eyes rolled around in my skull, trying not to focus on him.

I knew what he wanted. He wanted to play the dominance game.

To make me look at him.

I refused still. That brutal bastard kept choking the fuck out of me.

Finally I gave in and locked eyes with him.

“There’s those pretty eyes,” He whispered. “Right here… look right here.”

He held me breathless. Until I got high as a kite and my amber eyes started to cross.

And then his fingers clenched tighter.

Air exploded out of my lungs.

“Fuck you’re cute…” He grinned, breathing a chuckle. Curling the finger of his free hand to stroke my cheek.

Tenderness?

No. He collected a tear from my cheek.

He looked at it.

Still choking the fuck out of me. My head started to panic.

I lifted a hand to his wrist.

“Don’t. Fucking. Touch me.” He demanded.

My hand fell away and I resigned myself to it.

Then he savagely threw me back into my seat to gasp and cough while he ground my tear between his fingers.

He sat at the edge of his seat, resting his elbows on his knees. Watching me gasp like I needed air yesterday.

Coughing, cat-curling hard before crumbling onto my side.

“By the way… you dress like a bum. I’m calling a tailor tomorrow.” He calmly explained.

“I’m-..” I coughed… “I’m still wearing sneakers.”

“Are you compromising with me?”

I pushed myself up on my hands and sat up in my seat. Breathing heavily as I slumped back against it, staring at him.

“Yeah…” I answered, panting. “Why… you wanna fight about it?"

Dvar’s face dropped.

I really needed to learn to shut my mouth.

He was on me in a moment. Both hands around my neck.

We played the breath game. The entire time our transport got ferried in to the arrival lane.

Over.

And over.

And over again.

The messiest part about my life in that moment was two things.

One?

That I knew he was gonna have to work way harder to kill me.

Two?

That I knew he wasn’t trying.

Because he was calm about it. He looked me in the eyes. He fetishized my face. Hovering over me. Enjoying my suffering.

And he choked the shit out of me…

My every allowed breath was alive with the orange peel and mandarin of his cologne…

Fear smelled like a twist of citrus.

I was sure of it now.