Well Shit

I felt my watch pulse. Silently.

Five minutes remaining.

I finished dinner with my sister and Lakshmi amicably… she just… let me leave.

Everything about my night was surreal. I couldn’t help but smile at the fact that I’d actually had butter chicken and ramen though.

I still remembered the taste of the sauce. The way the ramen’s broth soothed me.

It was actually better than I thought it would be.

I was kind of expecting a let down, but…

Pleasant surprise. Something about me that I really liked.

I liked butter chicken and ramen.

Genuinely.

Even as I made my way back to the entry foyer to meet Dvar, I couldn’t help but feel somewhat proud of myself.

“How’d it go?” I heard his voice over my shoulder as I turned around.

Before I could react his finger was on my chin, lifting me into a fond kiss right on the mouth.

I couldn’t pull away.

I couldn’t react with disgust.

Not in public.

He thankfully didn’t linger. Breaking the kiss and looking me in the eye.

I opened my mouth to say something a few times, amber eyes moving up to his then away.

“It went fine,” I said.

This was the new normal. This was the new normal.

Least he didn’t make a home in my mouth like I knew he wanted to.

I could see it in his hungry eyes when I looked back up.

But he put his hands in his pockets. I did the same.

“What’s fine mean?”

“Think I got what we wanted.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah. I met your daughter,” I said, glaring up at him.

“Mm…” He nodded, looking unbothered. “How was she?”

“She’s… actually a remarkably sweet woman.”

“You’d like to think that, wouldn’t you?” He said with a smile.

I tilted my head. “I’d hope so. She’s a vampire.”

“Mm… she wasn’t at first. But you know… kids these days.”

I gave the slowest blink in history.

Dvar chuckled a little.

“I take it you met Two-Three?”

“Dose… yeah. We’ve met.”

“How’d that go?” He asked, turning to start walking towards the stairs down to the basement levels.

“I dunno,” I said, walking along beside him, our voices at a comfortable timbre to be heard between us. “I’d say about as well as can be expected.”

“You mean because she hates you?”

“Does she?”

“I dunno. I’m assuming,” Dvar said, his shoulders doing that jaunty rocking thing as he made his way down the steps.

Like a masculine wolf headed down to the den entrance.

I copied him and felt the power in it. The easy sway of confidence that came with being in his presence.

“She said she was gonna fuck me up.”

“Tch… yeah… sounds like hate to me,” he responded with a gesture of his hand. “How’d you end up running into them?”

“Oh, you’re not gonna believe this shit. So Vincent and Viggo hem me up in the hallway, right? Like, right after you left.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, and like, Vincent gets fresh on me immediately.”

“Sounds like him. Fuckin’ Candy Boy.”

“Yeah, well, he smooched a Strawberry Brick’n’Tackle in my mouth.”

“Brick’n’Tackle. Least it was good candy.”

“Fair point,” I said, as we hit the bottom of the steps, looking around the private grotto that led out under a weak waterfall of dribbling water.

Out into a view of the other side of the Ranch and the outdoor tables.

The interior of the grotto was a stone, cobbled floor, a bar to one side, rock pillars and a central showroom.

One that clones in varying states of lingerie were all posing lasciviously with one another.

Frozen. Unmoving.

Living statues.

“What the fuck is that shit?”

“Decadence,” Dvar said, gesturing at them as we walked past.

I moved with him, turning to walk backwards beside him as I stared at the mangle of bodies.

“I don’t get it.”

“Just be lucky you don’t have to. You got to be my right hand. They get rented to be statues. Whose life sucks more?”

I thought about that. Actually being one of them. Stripped, humiliated, suited in a snug zip-up and made to make a deviant fool of myself in front of others.

“Yeah, but what if they like it?” I asked finally, turning back around to walk beside him.

“Mm, that’s true… and what if they don’t?”

“Rather not think about it…”

“No one would. So they don’t.” He reached out and grabbed the back of my neck.

Fondly, he pulled me in close and whispered in my ear.

“Aren’t you glad you’re beautiful.”

I smiled a little, pulling my head away from him.

“Stop it…” I said.

“Mhm…” He gave my forehead a kiss and pushed my head.

I liked that he always treated me like a bro.

Even if I was a bro he wanted to feed his dick to.

I was used to the way he treated me. Heavy-handed. A little rough.

Even now when he gave me a rough shove and I bumped into one of those pillars I looked back at him like my wingman.

“Quit!” I laughed.

He chuckled as we made our way to a table and took a seat.

Away from the people statues but to the left of the big showroom.

People started to file in after us, down those same steps to fill tables and seats around the showroom.

“What’s going on?” I asked.

“Mm, I think your wish is coming true.” Dvar said, nudging his head towards the waterfall.

The distant rumble of motorcycles sounded. Revving.

They got closer…

And closer still, Dvar and I watching the parking lot through the drippy water wall.

In short order a small V-formation of one-wheeled motorcycles pulled up and rolled to a stop out there.

Each of them was dressed black, with blue accents across their tactical gear.

Something between a ninja and a priest.

They got off of their motorcycles.

I looked over at Dvar after I noticed they each had swords.

“Dude… what the fuck is this?”

“Shhhh, Pretty Boy. Just relax,” he smiled, sitting back in his seat and adjusting his tie.

Through the waterfall the six men walked, droplets of water spilling off of their helmets as they pulled them off.

The two up front I recognized right away.

Vincent and Viggo.

“You gotta be kidding me…” I sighed.

“Just wait,” Dvar said, that usual calm lending itself to the room as he casually flipped through the drink menu at our table. “They’ve got Coconut Sunrises here… finally.”

“How the hell do you do that?” I asked finally, staring at him.

“Do what?”

“Stay that calm?” I asked as those bikers marched over to a table and sat at it.

All of them staring at me.

“Hm? Oh… I just don’t care,” he said, flipping the menu over. “Mm… Pico Mint Julep.”

I rubbed my temples then sat up straight. Trying to project Dvar’s cool.

The next figure that came walking down those stairs like he owned the place actually owned the place.

I could tell from the entourage.

Several big, suited moosies.

As they reached the bottom of the stairs, the group of them moved to the grand table by the bar, but one among them, in a flashy, pinstriped suit with a red ascot whispered to a server.

They pointed at me.

More than once.

Then the server came over to us, bowing low and gracefully. She, like all of the other clones, was beautiful. A radiant, well-shaped doll for the eyes of restaurant goers.

“Boss Olmedo… I was asked to come see to your battle arrangements.”

My eyebrows lifted.

“You’re gonna fight?” I asked.

Dvar blinked his eyes slowly onto me.

“Do a better job not sounding silly.”

“… A simple no would have been fine,” I flicked my eyebrows up once.

Dvar leaned over and pulled his car keys from his pocket, handing them to her with a nod.

She took his keys and started away without a word, up the stairs.

“What was that about?”

“She’s going to get your dharma blade.”

“Oh…” I said, it slowly dawning on me why everyone was coming down to the basement level.

Especially when I saw Lakshmi and Dose come down last of all.

They stopped to do the meet-and-greet thing one does when they’re surrounded by that kind of cloud of power.

I watched the entire exchange. The entire time Two-Three’s eyes were on me.

And they weren’t nice.

I tried to ignore her while I watched her mistress work the room. Laughing at all the right laughs. Patting all the right shoulders. Then she and Dose were gliding over to us.

Taking a seat at our table.

Dose sat down right beside me. Meanwhile Lakshmi sat down right beside her father.

Well.

This was awkward.

Dvar seemed completely unbothered. Just swiping on his phone.

“Daddy,” Lakshmi said.

“Honey Bunch…” Dvar said back.

Honey Bunch? I frowned as he casually disregarded his daughter.

Least I knew it wasn’t just me.

“Did you eat yet?”

“I did. I had dinner with Mookie,” he said, gesturing over at Mookie. “The squab was amazing.”

I watched the moment with weirded out eyes.

I would never understand Thread’s social games.

I looked across the room at Mookie, then over at Vincent’s table.

They were still staring at me.

No one seemed to think this shit was uncomfortable but me.

Dose leaned over and whispered in my ear.

“God I hope they fucking kill you.”

My eyes went slowly wider, turning my head to look at her.

She smiled sweetly just as applause broke out around the room.

Mookie moved over to the podium.

“Thank you… Thank you all for coming out to the Hotpot tonight. You could have been anywhere else in the world but you’re here. So thank you,” he said, pointing with a hand, smiling big.

Okay…

Mookie was a handsome, charismatic fucker.

That tracked.

He had superman hair and the look of a male Asian supermodel.

He wasn’t tall but he was lean and solid.

The Bruce Lee type.

I respected it.

“Seems tonight we’ve got a challenge on the floor. The Naga Gita’s newest initiate says he has transgression with The Stillwater of Sunless.” Mookie lifted a champagne glass to get everyone’s attention.

I do?

Everyone looked at me.

My eyes tick-tocked around confused.

“I’ve been told the grievance can’t be talked through… and so… tonight’s main event isn’t just the squab.” He smiled as he explained up at the podium.

I looked over at Vincent.

He tossed me a kissy face.

“Dvar Olmedo, the Oyabun of Naga Gita Syndicate is in the house tonight. Everyone please. A round of applause.” Mookie went on.

An uproarious applause went up for Dvar and he stood, lifting a humble hand.

Brief. To the point. Then back down.

“And Uno Kelevra… challenger to my authority tonight. We’re not upset… that’s the way of things,” he said. His tone just as light. Just as impartial.

Dvar looked at me.

I realized it was my turn.

I stood. Lifted a hand.

Applause went up loudly.

None of these people even knew me…

What the fuck…?

As it died down, Mookie raised his glass to me and took a sip.

“Your terms. Who will flip the coin?”

I shrugged. “He can pick.”

I said, and everyone went quiet. Staring.

As if I’d broken a social rule?

But perhaps in a good way?

Respectful applause went up.

I looked over at Dvar and even he shrugged with his mouth and golf clapped.

Lakshmi was as well.

My eyebrows tightened a little. Did I just do something wrong?

I glanced over at Dose.

She ran a finger over her throat at me and grinned.

As if she was so happy I was about to die.

As if on cue, the girl from earlier came trotting down holding Dvar’s dharma blade.

“Well shit…”